Whenever I throw a hormone induced pity party I, like a good Virgo make a list of all things that make me, me. The list includes qualities I have no control over and personality traits which are part of my social and genetic background. Things I can’t leave in a box on the side of the road and forget. You know those things. I bet even you have that list.
Here is mine:
- I am a Virgo and perfectionist and often get in my own way. Virgos are the scary ones in the Zodiac who make lists and demand cleanliness. Well, I make a lot of lists but my house isn’t exactly clean. But, being a Virgo I do expect things to perfect on the first try. Brilliant, huh?
- I am a former Lutheran. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions there.
- I grew up in the Midwest which means I shouldn’t draw attention to myself, brag too much or be too happy because something, you never know what, just might happen!!!
- I live nowhere near my family and have no desire to move closer to them. I miss them like crazy but the Pacific NW has spoiled me.
This morning while my inner list maker was sharpening her quill because I couldn’t get my shit together, I thought about said list and wondered if those qualities are really all that bad. So I went through the list again, but this time with an open mind:
I’m a Virgo. Yes, I expect to be perfect right out of the gate at EVERYTHING I do, but I am getting better. I’m allowing myself to write bad first drafts and re-work them later. I have learned to just WRITE and not care if it isn’t prose. That being said, I am very efficient and can produce quality work quickly if I have to. I am learning to get out of my own way but it takes time. My house isn’t clean and that’s fine.
Ex-Lutheran and Former Midwesterner. One of the things I learned from my parents is my Protestantwork ethic. I don’t leave a project unfinished and take pride in my work. I am not a slacker and I like to work hard and play hard. I have been working to silence the voice that tells me not to be too proud or too happy but it’s difficult. This weekend I sat down and did some journaling and came to the conclusion that I need to focus on the good. Easier said that done, right? Yes, but this time I believed it.
Distance. This is something I just have to accept. My family can’t to move closer to me and I don’t want to move closer to them. One thing I can do is be more open to my feelings. I don’t need to wrap myself in defiance of not getting home sick every time I see a hockey game on TV. I can accept my weaknesses and e-mail my parents and tell them I miss them. (This is a big deal for me!) Now that my parents have sold their hockey school and I’m not working in a business that makes most of its business in the summer, I can visit them when it’s not 80-below zero. I have no excuse for not visiting.
The other day at work I was chatting with a woman I want to look like when I’m her age (late 50’s) about our exercise routines. She told me that an impatient dog and a small dose of Catholic guilt gets her up and out jogging each morning. I laughed but I could see how it could work.
How can that extra 15 pounds around your midsection make you a better person? Don’t laugh. Think about it. How can you make all that Catholic Guilt ™ be an advantage not a disadvantage? How does your sign affect you? Are you stubborn? Two-faced? Flakey? Let’s talk about it and see how we can turn them into strengths!