Colors Inside the Lines; Plays Well With Others

Pithy phrases on motivational posters and Facebook rarely inspire me to greatness or to fully live out my dreams. Most times when I read them, I am inspired to throw things and swear. So it came as a bit of a surprise last week when the usual syrupy sweet “daily tip” that accompanies the software I use at work didn’t make me want to kick something. It told me to Create My Team. It didn’t go into specifics so I could easily start recruiting for the next A Team (I believe Mr. T could use the work) or Dream Team but I haven’t played basketball in years and I can’t afford Mr. T’s expensive jewelry habit. But what I can do is form my own creative team.

As a Virgo and perfectionist, often times, I’m the one that prefers to take on projects myself so I can get them done right. This often results in me working too much and getting overwhelmed, but at least it’s done to my standards. Never mind I could have delegated the work and saved a few blood pressure points. But the random tip about building my team got me thinking about my creative life. I have a group of friends I meet with once a month to talk about our projects, dreams, and anything else that comes up. It’s a great sounding board and we always feel refreshed after our get-togethers. But we don’t carry that momentum throughout the rest of the month and ask for help when we get stuck. We are a team, but only once a month.

Why is it that we take on too many projects and not ask for help? Why don’t we build teams we can use as creative sounding boards or to help us through rough patches? I believe vulnerability and putting ourselves “out there” are probably the biggest reasons but other than that?

As Americans, the image of the lone cowboy or the person who “pulls themselves up from their bootstraps” (what the hell is a bootstrap?!) is pounded into our brains and asking for has become a badge of shame. Who knows what opportunities we can unearth if we only ask for help!

This idea was further emphasized to me last week when someone on in my circle of friends posted a simple e-mail on a mailing list asking for a used iPod or MP3 player. He didn’t have much money and really couldn’t afford to buy one but though he’d ask the group. I was touched by his vulnerability and simple request. He didn’t demand or whine; he just asked. Many people (including myself) responded and he found he was turning people away but pleased with everyone’s generosity. When I read his happy e-mail a voice in my head quietly said, “He simply asked for help.” I was floored.

Looking back, there are many times when I could have used a team to keep me motivated and inspired. My last triathlon is a good example. I trained by myself and did have a great trainer to move me along but I could have used a running or cycling group to keep me motivated when I was feeling down or unmotivated.

With hope springing eternal and the allergy season finally beginning to wane, now is the time to begin building your A Team for your creative projects or whatever it is you want to do. What about you? How can building your own team help you with your endeavors and keep you motivated when life’s blank page is staring you in the face?

Turning A Weakness into Art

Last year I wrote an essay on how to use your weaknesses as strengths (you can read it here). Upon reflection, one year later, I realized the article was three parts whining and another part one part sorting out my thoughts and not a whole lot of substance. So, I’m going to fix it this week and offer a better solution which starts with this short video on Ted.Com. Don’t skip it, it is part of my discussion, and it’s only 4 minutes long; you have time.

 

Get where I am going here? Let me explain with a short story: I have only been to Detroit, Michigan twice…well I’ve been to the airport twice. It was before the big remodel and the place was dark, dirty, and a little seedy. By the time I made my connecting flight, I had added it to my list of least favorite airports (I’m looking at you Atlanta!). My thoughts on the city of Detroit itself came from what I’ve seen on the TeeVee and interwebs from people who spend 10 minutes there to determine Just How Bad Things Are. The recession has not been good to the Motor City and in many ways it has come to reflect all things bad with the U.S economy; lots of crime, high unemployment, crumbling houses. So it came as a surprise to me when I was sitting around watching TV and saw a preview for a new series about a group of artists trying to rebuild Detroit. My fruitless internet searches for said show came up with nothing but here’s a good example of what is being done.

These artists are taking something that looks like a hopeless cause to the rest of the world and turning it into something better and livable. They aren’t waiting for a big corporation to come in and save the day and create billions of jobs. What they are doing is taking advantage of the opportunity and making something better for Detroit. Sure, they aren’t going to save the world either with a coat of paint, but they are going to make it a little better so people can be proud to live there. My friend Karen lives an hour south of Detroit, and like many in that region, is struggling to find work. Karen lives and breathes music so she created a concert series called Concerts At Karen’s Place and holds them on her front porch to court local musicians to her area and bring music to the small town masses. Pretty damn cool if I do say so myself.

These are just a few of the many examples of people taking a bad situation and turning into something, well, pretty damn cool. They are taking their 404 error page and making it art or even making you laugh instead of something that infuriates. That, Gentle Reader is a little thing done right that actually matters.

Creating Content the Easy Way

 

Last week I wrote about the infliction teenagers who live in the Midwest or in the shadow of a large city have to deal with on a daily basis. In case you forgot, it’s called The Fear of Missing Out. It creeps into one’s brain around the time sitting around watching TV with mom and dad on a Friday night is no longer fun. It also happens your Facebook friends post pictures of their fancy restaurant dinner while you are at home eating ramen noodles.

This week, I am proposing a cure for that infliction. It’s called Making Your Own Content. Content (in my dictionary) is defined as writing pose, creating art, welding metal bathtubs in your backyard, making soap, shooting videos with your phone or whatever else feeds your soul. It can also include exploring the town you live in, finding new restaurants (and posting your meals on Facebook) or simply getting out of a rut.

Think about all the times you clicked on mindless websites or watched TV trying to find something inspirational or stimulating. Instead of whining to your cat or spouse about not finding something “good” out there, make it yourself! Many writers and artists have said they got started working on their art because they wanted to they wanted create something THEY would enjoy. Can’t find a good book on free-range organic zombies? Write one! It’ll be a runaway hit (and I get credit). By creating your own content, you will be 50% more productive and that voice in your head that keeps telling you to do SOMETHING will be quiet.

I have stated way too many times that I often compare myself to more successful people. While they may seem to have it all, they are doing one thing I’m not. And that’s working on their craft or Making Content. Sitting at home refreshing my Facebook page or checking e-mails doesn’t get me anywhere near my goals of taking over Anthony Bourdain’s job, but going out and exploring the town I live in (minus the mass quantities of alcohol) and writing about it does. Thus, I am making content.

Last week my friend Kim announced to the world (Facebook) she was going dedicate herself to writing one story a week for year. These would be raw, unpolished stories.. warts and all. Writers aren’t keen on presenting unpolished work to the public but Kim held her breath and jumped into the deep end of the pool as a commitment to herself and her craft. In order to stay focused, she put reminders in place to have people poke her (gently of course) if she fails to post her weekly stories.

She is creating content.

America is teeming with the entrepreneurial spirit and can be tapped to create something truly wonderful. Now you might be saying, “But Anna, I have no idea how or where to get started!” Try doing a Google search for artisan backyard bathtub welding or ASK someone at the local craft fair how they got started. Yes, you will have to talk to people, but who knows, it may be the start of something truly wonderful. There is so much free software to make music music and make movies and the cameras in iPhones mimic professional lenses.

As I close, Gentle Reader, I would like to know how YOU can get started creating and sharing your own content. What would you do? Weave cat hair into portraits of Elvis? Collect rocks from unusual places and write stories about them? Share your ideas and I’ll highlight them in future blog posts.

Having More Fun Than You

This week, I would like to talk to you about something that is near and dear to my heart and drives my husband absolutely bonkers. It’s called the Fear of Missing Out. As a child growing up in an area where Not Much Happens ™ and living 200 miles from Minneapolis, I, and many of my friends had this feeling on any given Saturday night that there was someone, somewhere that has having More Fun Than Us.

It’s a common feeling for kids living in the Midwest and anywhere that doesn’t have much going on. Occasionally an entrepreneur would open Something New that would either be infested with wankers or get “boring” after the 20th visit. Now, I am of the belief that boredom is a self-afflicted injury. Give me some paper and crayons and I’m happy for hours. But as a teenager I felt that non-school nights were for Doing Fun Things. This, gentle readers, (Mom!) did not mean getting shit-faced drunk at Frat Parties. I waited until college to do that.

Unfortunately, I carried this feeling into adulthood, much to my husband’s chagrin. Not the shitfaced drunk part, just the feeling of Missing Out. Living near a large city does not help matters as there is always something fun to in Portland like getting shot at by cops or becoming a fixture at the local wine bar. While my husband is content to sit at the computer for hours playing Civilization, I climb the walls if I don’t have Something To Do. Of course being the product of workaholics doesn’t help matters. But I digress.

With social media attaching itself to our hips and our friends posting status updates of the food they eat and fun they are having, that feeling of Missing Out has increased. I don’t have an iPhone and nor do I post on Facebook whenever I eat a cheese sandwich, but I do read the Facebook pages of people more accomplished than me and feel I should be Doing Something Important. While writing this blog post, I have checked my e-mail 4 times and Facebook more times than I should. In many ways constantly being connected and feeling like we’re Missing Out making us less likely to focus on what is really important. It’s also making us less resilient when change comes around.

What do I mean? Well, last week on A Closer Look Radio, speaker and business trainer Jeffrey Vankooten was on the show discussing many important topics including the fear of Missing Out. We constantly check our e-mail and Facebook pages and distract ourselves with TV and media when should be focusing on what’s important. How about those times you were presented with something truly fabulous and maybe a little scary and were afraid to grab it or say yes? So you went back to what was easy and comfortable. When my cat Lettie was alive, she would always run to her food bowl when she was scared or confused. We do the same.

Jeffery said that by running to our food bowl or checking e-mail when we should be focusing on what’s important is making us less resilient to change. Americans are some of the most stressed out people in the world because we can’t handle change. He gave a few suggestions to consider when life doesn’t go as we expect:

• Take time to think. Turn off your TV and detox yourself from internet and just think.

• Consider what’s really important and what changes you CAN make.

• Choose to accept chaos and that shit sometimes happens.

• Go with the flow and laugh. Yes, laugh. When I was in New Zealand my dad and I went on a short kayaking trip. At one point in the trip we had to paddle against the wind and current and it was hard. I was tired and frustrated and instead of getting mad, I laughed. It helped.

So in conclusion, Gentle Reader, the next time you are faced with the feeling someone is Having More Fun Than You, regroup and consider if they really are or if it’s just your perception.

Tune in next week when I discuss the various ways in which you can make you your own fun (and not get arrested) and mostly importantly, make your own content.

Adventures in Thoughts and Processes

 

This week I had a moment of what I like to call Low Self Esteem. Due to a lack of exercise, my hormones were off and my brain was not firing properly. When this happens Mean Voice ™ takes over and ‘not good enough’ mantra begins its loop in my brain. It was a bad day and I did eventually get over it but not before doing some Deep Thinking on the State of Things. As a typical Virgo, whenever I need to think things out, I make lists. I made lists of What Was Important, What Was Lacking. Why, How and What. Don’t look at me like that. I’m a Virgo.

As I made my lists I noticed a theme was forming. I was comparing myself and my path to other more successful people around me and catering to the Mean Voice. Not a good thing when your hormones are out of whack. But the Virgo part of my brain realized that maybe there was something lacking otherwise I wouldn’t be doing this. In business there is a process companies use to gauge their progress called benchmarking. Let’s say you own a start-up perfume company that sells organic perfumes and body lotions all lovingly hand-crafted by free-range children. After a year or two, you notice Gen X Perfumes down the block from you is doing better and has recently launched a successful campaign showcasing their perfumes made from free range silk worms. The perfume is flying off the shelves and they have been featured in the local press. Now the hormonal and Mean Brain thing to do would be to throw a pity party and wail to the Universe how things are not fair.

Or.. you can sit down like a good Virgo and make a list and do a little benchmarking. What does Gen X Perfumes do that make them more successful? What processes do they use to rise above the competition and give their customers added value? The key, I have been told by my Project Management Husband, is to focus on the PROCESS. Obviously, you can’t be Gen X Perfumes with their Über budget but you can use their processes to make your business shine. It’s the same thing you can use when Mean Voice is comparing you to others.

During my recent trip to New Zealand with my dad and sister, I met many people in our tour group who had traveled to many exotic countries including the state of Missouri. Now, I love to travel (I just don’t like airports) and I found I was more than a little jealous I couldn’t “be like them” and go on Big Trips every year. Instead of wallowing in self pity and a checking account with a low balance, I can use the same benchmarking techniques above and their love for travel to “be more like them.” By examining what makes these people successful in their travels, I can start making changes to work toward my own goals. The key to benchmarking is understanding the difference in scales between them and you. While I might not be able to go to Tibet each year, I can plan for smaller trips RIGHT NOW and eventually end up in Tibet in 5 years.

Many of the guests on A Closer Look Radio discuss benchmarking and how you can use it for your own business or even your life to gain momentum and get out of ruts. I recommend listening to Pam’s interview she did last week with marketing guru Kelly McDonald. Kelly discusses the 2010 Census and the demographic changes in America. She noted we cannot take the same things for granted when we are benchmarking or marketing to potential clients. It can either be scary for those who don’t like change or exciting for those who want more than bologna on white bread with mayo.

So, now is the time I have to ask how YOU, gentle reader, can use benchmarking in your own pursuits to be and do better and get out of self-imposed ruts?

Absinthe-fueld Gangster Rap

This morning I spent one hour and 15 minutes ignoring my To Do List, putting aside the 4 stories I have to write by Tuesday, and brushing off a blog post that just wouldn’t write itself. Instead, I sat at my computer looking at the websites of Creative People™ wishing my ideas would effortlessly flow like theirs. I envisioned myself hammering away at my keyboard producing amazing content during absinthe-fueled evenings set against a soundtrack of Mozart arias, tribal house music, and gangster rap.

As I closed my tabs and looked at the blank page, Disappointed Voice kicked in. Why wasn’t I producing great content and offering it to the masses? Where was my creative spirit? I look at my surroundings and noticed I still hadn’t taken a shower and was wearing my pajamas and a sweatshirt. My hair was sticking straight up (I’m sure Mozart would be proud) and I was drinking orange out of a wine glass. My husband asked me why I choose a wine glass and I looked at him and said, “How do you drink it?” There was a coffee cup filled with a fruit smoothie in front of me and a notebook full of ideas and plans.

And yet, I sit here looking at Facebook checking my e-mail waiting for inspiration to attach itself to my ankle like a rabid dog. Like many, I get distracted by shiny things and it takes me a while to get back to where I need to be. It usually involves a pity party or two, a list, and then focus. If I actually took my own advice and left the house to write and create, I would probably get more done. I edited a series of children’s books for a woman who wrote most of them in a local pub. When my husband and I have important decisions to make, we don’t make them at the kitchen table; we get out of the house and go to a favorite pub for deep discussions and list-making.

I’m beginning to think that there is just too much noise and content for us to get anything done. Good decision making has atrophied to what is comfortable and familiar instead of unknown and a little scary. Last week on A Closer Look Radio, Pam interviewed futurist Eric Garland who pretty much said the same thing. He recently published this article for the Atlantic Monthly explaining how Über conglomerates are creating redundancy through bureaucracy and ignoring the fact that times they are a changing. Eric argues we left what was considered “normal” in 2008 and will never go back. These Über corporations don’t want to face this fact while perpetuating mediocrity.

I mentioned this idea to my husband and he wisely pointed out how companies spend too much time dealing with issues and not enough time adapting to changing climates. He also said something that really stuck with me: We need a peaceful and sacred space from which to make decisions. We need to get away from the interwebs, Facebook, and cell phones and just catch our breath. There’s too much out there distracting us from making good decisions or writing good blog posts.

By spending my Sunday morning looking at the websites of Creative People ™ and feeling sorry for myself, I can either perpetuate my own mediocrity or use those sites as inspiration and do something about it. I’d rather do something about it.

What about you? Pity party or absinthe-fueled creativity sessions complete with gangster rap?

Succeeding at being vulerable

In the period between getting ready for work and leaving for work I was wasting time watching “Real Life… I’m a (insert neurosis here)” on MTV. Don’t laugh; it was better than watching Justin Beiber make his millionth appearance on The Today Show. The episode I happened upon followed the lives of young people who were “living double lives”. There was a young man who was posing as a woman and a young woman who told everyone she was from the Dominican Republic. They both wanted to be something they weren’t and were desperate for validation from their peers.

It got me thinking about my recent world-traveling adventures to New Zealand. I was a with a group of Americans and the second question any traveling American will ask you after they find out where you are from is what to do you do for a living. This conversation baffles my European comrades as that question is rarely brought up when they introduce themselves.

While waiting for our flight from Sydney to New Zealand, my dad, sister and I met up with a group of our fellow travelers. We exchanged the usual pleasantries and when we ran out of things to say asked what each other does for a living. My first inclination was to talk about my day job, but I stopped and said, “I’m a writer”. It felt liberating like I cleared some invisible hurdle and I said it with such confidence that people were intrigued and asked thoughtful follow-up questions.

I told them I what I wrote and what I am working on and explained it all with enthusiasm. I gave my list of writing accomplishments and even impressed myself. Toward the end of the trip, even my DAD was telling people I was writer. This is coming from a man who works in the concrete business and couldn’t figure out how my aunt makes a living as a clown and my mom and step-dad ran a successful hockey school for 25 years.

While I was away, husband must have been reading my mind because he e-mailed me this Ted.Com talk with researcher Brene Brown. In this 20-minute talk, Brene discusses the power of vulnerability and why we need the courage to be imperfect, be authentic and fully embrace vulnerability. What really got me was her encouragement to willingly do something with no guarantees in order to succeed.

 

By being vulnerable Brene says we can connect with others and become more empathic to others. Being vulnerable also helps us thrive. She says that in order for connection to happen we have to be seen. Really seen. We have to get out there and tell strangers we are writers, artists, scientists, speakers, etc. She also said something that really resonated with me and that is that people who believe what made them vulnerable also made them beautiful. WOW! Who knew? Like with most things, there are no guarantees being vulnerable make us successful but it does help us learn and grow.

In this coming week, gentle reader, think about all the ways you exchange being vulnerable for comfort or inertia. Think about how being vulnerable and putting yourself “out there” can help you grow and connect with others. I did it, and I made believers out of people who had just met me. You can do it to and you don’t have to fly halfway across the world or watch bad programing on MTV to do it.

Living Deliberately

 

My weekly blog posts have been unusually absent for a few weeks, and gentle reader, will be again for a few more weeks. I have been busy writing articles for pay and seeking out new projects. This was the first weekend in a long time I didn’t have 5 articles due by Monday and a bunch of projects to complete. While I do enjoy the money, I don’t enjoy the stress and spending my weekends in front of the computer.

This weekend I met up with my group of creative friends and we exchanged ideas, notes, and experiences and solved many of the world’s problems. At the end of our gatherings we set intentions or pull a card from a tarot deck to focus our intention for the next month. The card I pulled was from the Enchanted Map Oracle Deck. The card’s focus was on hitting my mark, not letting myself do all the work (like a good Virgo) and most importantly, to live deliberately.

Next week I will be flying halfway around the world to go on a bike tour of New Zealand and spend a couple of days in Sydney, Australia with my dad and sister. I have been to Europe three times and traveled around the U.S. but never gone a trip this big. I have not spent 15 hours on a plane and not eaten vegemite. I have to admit, I am a little overwhelmed and not quite sure what to expect. What I am, however, is excited.

The card I pulled about living deliberately got me thinking about this trip. My dad presented this trip to me and my sister last November and, without asking our supervisors at work if we could have the time off, we simply said yes, we are going. I have been trolling the interwebs for the past couple of days looking at pictures of Milford Sound, Sydney Harbour and other sites.

When you think about how short life really is, it makes me wonder why we don’t take more risks. There are the usual excuses: comfort, patterns, inertia, etc. that keep us from jumping off the cliff but is it worth it to stay home and watch re-runs of Jersey Shore? Yeah, I’m a busy girl and I don’t slow down enough, but I LIVE. My mother always told me to get out of the house and go on adventures, so I do.

In the next two and a half weeks, I’m going to do my best and live deliberately and explore and truly enjoy my trip “down under”. What about you? How can you live deliberately? How can you apply that to your own creativity? I want to hear all about it when I come back. I’ll have plenty of stories to tell.

All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise

Everyone has their own ideas of success. Person X might not feel successful until they make a million dollars. Person Y might not feel successful until they clear a particular hurdle like owning a home or wining a presidential election. For me, I believe in faking it until you make it and no one will be the wiser. I call myself a writer because that’s what I do. I may not have my articles published in The New York Times but I still write just about every day and have had my words published in publications with smaller distributions than The Gray Lady.

In this country we hear about people who arrive with three cents in their pockets and eventually turn into robber barons or are born here to immigrant parents and become 4-star Generals. Their success stories usually involve a lot of work and determination but their failures along the way never seemed to be highlighted.

This week at a friend’s birthday party, I met Edward Martin III. He is a bit of a local legend around here as he writes books, makes movies, doesn’t sleep much and is incredibly creative. I introduced myself by commenting on his creativity and asked if I rubbed myself up against him like a cat if it any of it would rub off on me. He laughed and we launched into a conversation about writing and what we do. We talked about the writing process and I told him I wasn’t very good at writing fiction. He gave me a look like, “have you really tried?”

We talked more about the writing process and something he said at the end of our conversation really hit me. When we see the finished, Photo-shopped image a photographer publishes, there are at least 200 or so images they had to shoot to get to that perfect shot. Same thing with writing. We write a lot of words. Much of it is crap and occasionally we crank out a gem. It is the equivalent of going through 3 rolls of film to get one really good image. During our conversation, Edward pointed to his book of short stories sitting on the table in front of him and said there were at least 3 or 4 stories in the book he really liked and the rest were passable.

Insert light bulbs shattering moment.

As a perfectionist, I thought all writers wrote great works and had to do a little editing at the end. Yes, I’m being completely unreasonable but bear with me. As I stated above, I prefer to learn about the writing process and the failures that happened along the way. As a writer, it’s important to know Neil Gaiman wrote 12 versions of American Gods before completing the final draft. It makes the creative process more human and relatable.

I have a little speech by Ira Glass pinned to my bulletin board that paraphrase the writing process and most importantly, talks about making stuff that isn’t good. We will make crap and we will be disappointed but our good taste in words, stories and art will keep us going. He says people often never get past this phase and our work is only as good as our ambitions. Here’s a link to the videos where Ira describes the creativity and learning process.

So, going back to my original conversation with Edward that lead to this blog post, at the end of the evening Edward shook my hand as we stood outside of The Horse Brass Pub, and without having read a word I have ever written, turned to me and told me to promise to keep writing. I stood there dazed and a little choked up and answered, “Of course I will.”

After my light bulb shattering moment this weekend, I want to pass it along to you, Gentle Reader, and ask that you promise to continue to write, create, experiment, love, do whatever makes you happy, and promise to make a lot of mistakes, create a lot of crap, and thoroughly enjoy the process.

The deep end of the pool is waiting.

Give Them Something Real

Taking the train to work every day allows me to listen in on some interesting conversations – some I want to hear and others not so much. There’s the men and women yelling at their spouses and telling them that yes, even though they have slept with many women/men they ARE faithful. Or the two homeless men trying outdo each other as to who has had the worst life. Or my favorite, the LOUD teenager screeching about music, manga, a mutual friend who may or may not be a ‘ho. Occasionally I get to hear something worthwhile that makes me turn off my iPod and listen.

On the way to work last week, I was sitting near two gentlemen who were talking about their workplace. From what I gathered they worked for a high tech company that may or may not be run by two guys named Steve (not the dead one) and Bill. They were expressing their frustration with the bureaucracy of the company and how difficult it was to get decent products to the customer. About the time one of the gentlemen started talking about “change management” I took out my notebook and started taking notes. Yes, I did take notes -but it’s for your benefit, Gentle Reader.

The main point of the discussion was that the company shouldn’t just “roll shit into production and use ideological management” but to really give the customer something they can use. I began underlining my notes when they talked about creating an infrastructure model for change and making their company relevant. Normally Corporate Speak makes me want to throw things, but this conversation really got me thinking. Why do we fear change so much? Does the same way we’ve been doing things really work? Is there life out of our comfort zones? I’d like to think so.

As a writer I take this in account when I market my services to people. I was a journalist in my previous life and can write quality product quickly and efficiently and I never miss a deadline. I can also change my tone to the client’s needs and really listen to what they want. In her marketing workshops, Pam Atherton talks about making your business relevant and how to differentiate from yourself from the competition. She urges small business owners to find one or two things that will attract people to your services and get beyond the basics. This is good advice for not only your professional life but personal life as well.

Pam also recently interviewed an expert in this field on A Closer Look Radio and had a great discussion on how to manage change. Listen to the interview here.

Before I got off the train, the conversation ended on change management; how to make things more efficient, getting beyond ingrained beliefs. By discussing the flaws and solutions to getting products to their clients, these two guys inspired me while also making me think. How do we as artists, writers, business people and just plain human beings, use change management when we adjust to change and how do we use it to find solutions to our problems? Keep with the old or look into new ideas? Tell me your ideas! Keep those spammers from commenting!