All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise

Everyone has their own ideas of success. Person X might not feel successful until they make a million dollars. Person Y might not feel successful until they clear a particular hurdle like owning a home or wining a presidential election. For me, I believe in faking it until you make it and no one will be the wiser. I call myself a writer because that’s what I do. I may not have my articles published in The New York Times but I still write just about every day and have had my words published in publications with smaller distributions than The Gray Lady.

In this country we hear about people who arrive with three cents in their pockets and eventually turn into robber barons or are born here to immigrant parents and become 4-star Generals. Their success stories usually involve a lot of work and determination but their failures along the way never seemed to be highlighted.

This week at a friend’s birthday party, I met Edward Martin III. He is a bit of a local legend around here as he writes books, makes movies, doesn’t sleep much and is incredibly creative. I introduced myself by commenting on his creativity and asked if I rubbed myself up against him like a cat if it any of it would rub off on me. He laughed and we launched into a conversation about writing and what we do. We talked about the writing process and I told him I wasn’t very good at writing fiction. He gave me a look like, “have you really tried?”

We talked more about the writing process and something he said at the end of our conversation really hit me. When we see the finished, Photo-shopped image a photographer publishes, there are at least 200 or so images they had to shoot to get to that perfect shot. Same thing with writing. We write a lot of words. Much of it is crap and occasionally we crank out a gem. It is the equivalent of going through 3 rolls of film to get one really good image. During our conversation, Edward pointed to his book of short stories sitting on the table in front of him and said there were at least 3 or 4 stories in the book he really liked and the rest were passable.

Insert light bulbs shattering moment.

As a perfectionist, I thought all writers wrote great works and had to do a little editing at the end. Yes, I’m being completely unreasonable but bear with me. As I stated above, I prefer to learn about the writing process and the failures that happened along the way. As a writer, it’s important to know Neil Gaiman wrote 12 versions of American Gods before completing the final draft. It makes the creative process more human and relatable.

I have a little speech by Ira Glass pinned to my bulletin board that paraphrase the writing process and most importantly, talks about making stuff that isn’t good. We will make crap and we will be disappointed but our good taste in words, stories and art will keep us going. He says people often never get past this phase and our work is only as good as our ambitions. Here’s a link to the videos where Ira describes the creativity and learning process.

So, going back to my original conversation with Edward that lead to this blog post, at the end of the evening Edward shook my hand as we stood outside of The Horse Brass Pub, and without having read a word I have ever written, turned to me and told me to promise to keep writing. I stood there dazed and a little choked up and answered, “Of course I will.”

After my light bulb shattering moment this weekend, I want to pass it along to you, Gentle Reader, and ask that you promise to continue to write, create, experiment, love, do whatever makes you happy, and promise to make a lot of mistakes, create a lot of crap, and thoroughly enjoy the process.

The deep end of the pool is waiting.

Give Them Something Real

Taking the train to work every day allows me to listen in on some interesting conversations – some I want to hear and others not so much. There’s the men and women yelling at their spouses and telling them that yes, even though they have slept with many women/men they ARE faithful. Or the two homeless men trying outdo each other as to who has had the worst life. Or my favorite, the LOUD teenager screeching about music, manga, a mutual friend who may or may not be a ‘ho. Occasionally I get to hear something worthwhile that makes me turn off my iPod and listen.

On the way to work last week, I was sitting near two gentlemen who were talking about their workplace. From what I gathered they worked for a high tech company that may or may not be run by two guys named Steve (not the dead one) and Bill. They were expressing their frustration with the bureaucracy of the company and how difficult it was to get decent products to the customer. About the time one of the gentlemen started talking about “change management” I took out my notebook and started taking notes. Yes, I did take notes -but it’s for your benefit, Gentle Reader.

The main point of the discussion was that the company shouldn’t just “roll shit into production and use ideological management” but to really give the customer something they can use. I began underlining my notes when they talked about creating an infrastructure model for change and making their company relevant. Normally Corporate Speak makes me want to throw things, but this conversation really got me thinking. Why do we fear change so much? Does the same way we’ve been doing things really work? Is there life out of our comfort zones? I’d like to think so.

As a writer I take this in account when I market my services to people. I was a journalist in my previous life and can write quality product quickly and efficiently and I never miss a deadline. I can also change my tone to the client’s needs and really listen to what they want. In her marketing workshops, Pam Atherton talks about making your business relevant and how to differentiate from yourself from the competition. She urges small business owners to find one or two things that will attract people to your services and get beyond the basics. This is good advice for not only your professional life but personal life as well.

Pam also recently interviewed an expert in this field on A Closer Look Radio and had a great discussion on how to manage change. Listen to the interview here.

Before I got off the train, the conversation ended on change management; how to make things more efficient, getting beyond ingrained beliefs. By discussing the flaws and solutions to getting products to their clients, these two guys inspired me while also making me think. How do we as artists, writers, business people and just plain human beings, use change management when we adjust to change and how do we use it to find solutions to our problems? Keep with the old or look into new ideas? Tell me your ideas! Keep those spammers from commenting!

Epic Failing – On Purpose

Each year, über writer and person-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up, Neil Gaiman, sends out a New Year’s wish to his readers. Last year he wrote something that needs to be painted on my office walls and meticulously copied in into my journal:

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness.

This year Neil changed gears a little and presented an interesting idea that should be tattooed on everyone’s brain:

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.

So that’s my wish for you and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it. Make your mistakes, next year and forever.

In other words, Neil Gaiman is giving us permission to fail. Is my interpretation too extreme? Maybe, but what this amazing writer is telling us is we have to get away from our computers and Facebook and meet people and making glorious plans and allow ourselves to make mistakes while we do it. In America it seems people’s biggest fears are failure. Failure to achieve those lofty goals we set for ourselves, failure to get our dream business going, failure to train hard enough for an event before the starting date. But is failure really that bad?

I have failed at many things including golf (although I am an excellent putter), making decent spaetzle and getting up early to write. I participated in group sports when I was a kid and realized it was best to quit while I was ahead. I worked in radio for four years before deciding I had enough. Does that make me a failure? No, I am being realistic about my strengths and learning to understand my limits. This, in turn, allows me to become a better-rounded person.

Think of the people you know who have never left their home state. I knew a few people like that, in fact, I know people who live in the suburbs of Portland and refuse to drive downtown. Most likely because traffic is horrible any time of the day, but STILL.. never leaving your suburb?! Don’t make come over there! There is life outside of our comfort zones!

Last week on A Closer Look Radio, Pam interviewed entrepreneur and author Troy Hazard about how to stop lying to yourself and not make decisions based on fear. Listen to the interview here. Troy is a guy who sits down every year and writes out what is truly important to his personal life, his family, and his business and how he can achieve his goals to get the most out of all three aspects.

One thing Troy said that really stuck with me was how he makes that list and includes people who can influence and inspire him to achieve his goals. Perhaps maybe it’s time for me to call up Neil Gaiman and invite him over for afternoon tea. Or maybe just take his advice and start making grand plans and even grander mistakes.

 

Works and Lives With Her Family in an Interesting Place

Much like infomercials, I find mission statements to be incredibly fascinating. I like to see what goes into them, how they are crafted and how that message is portrayed to customers. But what you see isn’t always what you get. The turkey that comes out of the CookMaster 2000 infomercial was baked in a conventional oven and then placed in the CookMaster 2000 only after a nice layer of bronzer and lip gloss was applied. With mission statements, many companies spend way too much time and money on consultants to craft the perfect mission statement only to have to explain what it means to a confused public.

Last year I explored the idea of creating your own mission statement which you can read here and even get tips on generating your own. I like the idea of creating a mission statement to define what you do and cater it to your needs as they change. What I don’t like are vague mission statements everyone in a company has to memorize.

With that in mind, I turn my attention to bios this week. You know bios.. the things you read on the back of a book. For example: Anna Alexander is the award-winning author of such investigative pieces of journalism as Tatertot Hotdish: The Myth, The Mystery, The Midwest and Klutz: A young woman’s journey into the side of coffee tables and sharp objects. Anna lives in the Pacific Northwest with her over-achieving husband and over-scheduled and gifted children. When not producing and starring in travel documentaries, Anna relaxes by training for Iron Man triathlons and knitting. But not at the same time.

Last week I was whining to my friend Pam Atherton about various and sundry things including what I want to be when I grow up. Pam, being the wise woman she is responded to my e-mail by writing, So have you decided what IS your dream job? Spell that sucker out! Write it down as if I said to you… “Write your bio.”

Wow! Creating my own focus instead of just wishing? Being detailed about what I want? What a concept!

Out of curiosity, I Googled “creating your own bio” and found this article. The author pointed out that the standard resume is dead and we creative types need to show the world what we can do rather than tell. She explained we need to create our bios by marketing ourselves in new and interesting ways and developing a promising back story. She also emphasized seeking external validation to back up our work. You know, like getting Neil Gaiman to write a blurb about how great your book is or giving an advance copy to the President so he can be photographed with it. (I’m lookin’ at you Jonathan Franzen!) It was a great article and something I wish I had written but will keep it in my tool box for future reference.

Now is the time when I share my bio with you. But I won’t, because I haven’t written it yet and I don’t want to just throw out some fluff to fill space on my website. I need to give it a little more thought and think about what I truly want. I can tell you at this very moment my bio involves travel and writing. I’m sure other needs will fill themselves in as I go about the process and make lots of lists. I’ll share those with you as I progress.

Until then, Gentle Reader, how do you want your bio to read? What, as the saying goes, would you attempt if you knew you couldn’t fail? How does having a “dream bio” help you focus your goals? Have you ever thought about it before? I’m interested in your thoughts and will expand on the dream bio in future blog posts.

A Toast and Boast on New Year’s Day

 

It is New Year’s Day, and unlike most people, I did not drink too much or stay up too late last night. I did wake up long enough to hear our neighbors blow off fireworks at midnight and go back to sleep.

As the rest of the world wakes up and wishes everyone a happy new year, I’ve noticed a renewed sense of hope on the blogs and Facebook feeds for 2012 that we haven’t seen in a long time. There’s an underlying feeling of promise that 2012 will in fact be better than the last decade and there is something to look forward to.

It’s always easy to dwell on the crappy things that happened in the past year, but in this week’s blog post, I am going to do something I don’t do very often: make it about me. If you’ve listened to A Prairie Home Companion more than once, you’ll know that Mid-westerners, especially Minnesotans don’t like drawing attention to themselves or bragging about what they’ve done. It’s easy for us to deflect compliments as if saving a building full of orphans from their fiery was death was nothing special. But in the fine tradition of a Norse Symbel Ceremony, I’m going to boast about my year and what I’ve accomplished and what I hope to accomplish in the next year:

• In the past year, I trained harder than I have ever trained before thanks to my trainer Ken and raced in my 3rd triathlon. I shaved off 10 minutes from my last time and was quite pleased with my performance. The experience was great but toward the end of the race I decided I wanted to do something else.

• Over the summer, I and three other creative friends started a monthly tradition of getting together at a coffee shop with the purpose of encouraging each-other’s creative endeavors, giving advice, and just having a place to be creative and solve many of the world’s problems. Thank you WBTASS!!! (don’t ask)

• I got out of my comfort zone more times than I could count by going to writers groups and reading stuff I wrote in front of strangers, approaching the owner of a local wine bar and talking her into letting me write her newsletters, and finding inspiration through the PDX writers group.

• I started writing articles for pay and thoroughly enjoyed the process. I have written on everything from sweating, to Annapolis, MD to writing content for a websites selling questionable products. I learned how to trust my writing more and enjoy the process.

• My Grandma Kloss died in February and I went back to MN for the funeral. I connected with a long lost cousin and generally had a really nice time hanging with my relatives, laughing and eating. In March, my dad came to visit and we installed new Pergo flooring in our living room. All by ourselves. I felt so accomplished. Last year, I learned the true value of family and it felt really, really good.

• I’ve sorted out my brain on this blog and in my own journal and learned a few things along the way – including how to be nicer to myself.

That’s just a few things I’ve accomplished in 2011. In 2012, I just simply want to function better. I wrote about it a couple of weeks ago and I mean it. Eat better, stop letting my blood sugar get so low, exercise every day even if it’s only 30 minutes and most importantly, stop beating myself for being human. I also plan to ask for help more often.. but I can’t do everything at once now can I?

Here’s to 2012 and thriving in whole new ways!

We’ll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne

Last week my trainer Ken wrote to me and asked how my workouts were going. He does this periodically to check in on and see how I’m progressing. After a couple of frustrating weeks, I finally bit the bullet and told him I wasn’t sure how I was doing and thought it might be easier to just hit the Do Over Button.

Like a good trainer, Ken gave me a good pep talk and told me not to get discouraged because I’m not progressing as I would like and to remember that we all have bad weeks (sometimes 2 or 3) and to get past it. He also told me me it was probably time for me to re-evaluate my fitness goals and to think about what I truly wanted, to dream big, and to get back to him after a week of thinking. He ended his e-mail by telling me that while I was thinking about these goals, to get off my butt and do the exercises he sent. I laughed and smiled because he did have a point.

As I mulled over my exercise goals over the week, I thought about how this relates to creative goals or any sort of life benchmarks we set for ourselves. What do we do when the path isn’t going where want it to go? What do we do when we get stuck in the mud? Are afraid to reach out for help or just take that deep breath and leap? For many of us, myself included, we continue to spin in the mud or dig that hole a little deeper until it is just too much to deal with and get distracted by something new and shiny.

Now that 2012 is lurking in the cornfields ready to attack, it’s time to pull out that list you made last year on New Year’s Eve of all those grand plans and sweeping changes you were going to make in 2011. I pulled out my journal and read my entry on December 26^th. I made notes about finding abundance, taking more joy in writing and creating a balance in my mental and spiritual state. For the most part, I think I did well. There were a few things I really wanted to accomplish but didn’t because of (insert random excuse here). Going back to what Ken the Trainer said, the main reason I didn’t accomplish these things was because I hit a roadblock, wasn’t sure how to proceed or just got distracted by a new, shiny object. Instead of re-grouping and re-examining those goals, I just moved on to something else leaving behind a pile of half-finished dreams.

The idea of a new year gives us the opportunity to reflect on what we want and also wipe the slate clean, think about all the things we can do creatively, spiritually or physically. What is keeping you from accomplishing these tasks and how can you take Ken the Trainer’s advice and get off your butt and just do it?

I can’t just pontificate on goals setting without listing my own plans for 2012. After careful consideration, I determined that I simply want to function better. That means exercising so my hormones and emotions stay in check and also meet my weight goals, meditating each day even if it’s just 5 minutes on the train, and getting out of my comfort zone and really going for what I want.

Drop me a line and let me know how you plan to function better in 2012. Let’s start a conversation about how to work toward these goals. I want to block out all the spammers in the comments section that want to sell me little blue pills with a healthy discussion.

In the next few months I plan on expanding on this topic and doing a series of articles and interviews with people smarter than me. I may even see if I can get Ken the Trainer to sit still for 5 minutes and answer questions about how set realistic exercise goals.

Fragments and Shrapnel: Examining Your Standards Part I

When my husband and I were buying our house, we began our search with a list of requirements. It was a long list but we were willing to negotiate on having a pool and a cabana/lawn boy to help with home maintenance. As we learned about what we could afford and what was in our price range, our list got shorter and I compared it to dating: You start with a list of what your ideal partner would be and eventually narrow it down to a warm body and a heartbeat. While we refused to look at condos or anything without a backyard, we did have to adjust our requirements. While I liked the general condition and feel of a house I dubbed The Flower Puke House (think pink couch and flowered wallpaper), I wasn’t going to spend hours removing the ugly wallpaper and pink carpeting.

This week I got an e-mail from an online creative services group that started their newsletter with an image of a permission slip. The slip simply said I had permission to lower my standards. Huh?  As a perfectionist, I often feel that everything I write has to be genius and perfect the first time out of the gate. It’s not very productive and doesn’t get me anywhere. Like most people, I would like to be more successful and make more money and be on my way to world domination. But I’m not there yet. Like a good Virgo, I sometimes beat myself up over this and really shouldn’t.

I thought more about the permission slip and my own definition of success. We all want to have the perfect job and life by the time we’re 40 but is that realistic? Is the bar set too high? Is really realistic to think you can run that marathon before you’re 40? How ‘bout a half marathon or even a 10K? As I discussed this topic with my husband he reminded me to think of it less as lowering my standards and thinking more about the standards themselves?

This blog post is going to be short this week because I want to continue it next week to highlight a fabulous interview that aired on A Closer Look Radio last week. The guest, Gina Amaro Rudan wrote a book about attracting and using your genius and setting goals for success. The interview really spoke to me and will to you. Have a listen here  and come back next week and we’ll talk about it.

Fragments and Shrapnel: Abundance

Years ago when the economy tanked and newspapers and online news sources were shouting strum und drang and the end was surely near, I started carrying an abundance journal. Much like everyone else at the time, my husband and I were struggling to stay afloat and while we tried to figure out how to pay our bills and eat at the same time. It was easy for me to look at my empty checking account and think of how bad things were, but having been down that spiral before, I choose to look at what I did have.

Now that Thanksgiving is over and the Christmas frenzy is in full swing, the stress of the holidays has begun. We look at the balances in our checking accounts and wonder how the heck we’re going to pay for presents. Everyone bemoans the commercialism of the holidays but still continue with the tradition of scraping by and going into debt buying presents. Sure there are cheap and easy gifts you can give, and I found that out when I learned how to knit. But this blog post is not about cheap and easy holiday gifts, it’s about creating abundance.

I carried the abundance journal with me and would jot down ideas or things I encountered throughout the day that made me feel abundant. My list ranged from simple things like admiring the nice houses in my neighborhood, to the bulk food section at the grocery store, to the produce aisle filled with inexpensive fruits and vegetables. Hell, even the simple act of composting our food made me feel abundant. Of course the occasional Trader Joe’s gift card from my in-laws would land in our mailbox and that would make me feel abundant, too. (Note to in-laws: This is not a hint… just an example)

The simple act of recognizing what WAS abundant in my life instead of what wasn’t helped change my perspective and create more abundance. It’s one of those easy and yet hard lessons I needed to remind myself that everything isn’t ALL bad when life is feeling like a grey Pacific Northwest day.

Recently, I decided to invest in another abundance journal when the onslaught of holiday gift giving advice and ůber sales at the local box store began their seasonal swarm. Sure, I could ignore it and write my manifesto about consumerism, but that display in the Macy’s window in downtown Portland sure looks inviting along with the $200 sweater.

Some of the items on my list include:

• The holiday tree and all of its energy-saving lights in downtown Portland
• Passing by full restaurants and watching people laugh and enjoy themselves
• Watching the leaves on the trees change from green to red to yellow.

Simple things like the changing and the swollen Columbia River after a heavy rainfall made me feel like I have something when all the holiday advertising is telling me otherwise. Last week I while I walked to work, I picked up a gorgeous yellow and red leaf and gave it to a co-worker. I told her it was a lucky leaf which meant she would have a good day. She was most appreciative and it made me feel good.

So, as the weather gets colder and the lines everywhere get longer and people crankier, what makes YOU feel abundant? What alternatives are there to the $200 sweater to feel abundant?

Fragments and Tarot Cards

 

Ray Bradbury once said, “Quantity produces quality, if you only write a few things, you’re doomed.”

At a recent meeting of creative minds, the balance between wanting something and actively working toward that goal was a topic of heated discussion. Examples of people who want to be a writer or artist but wouldn’t commit to the work were shared and discussed. We all have ideas and plans to bring us happiness and make us millions but the actual follow through with these plans is the hard part. Our lives are busy, we have long commutes and a list of excuses for doing what we truly want to do.

Many ideas and creative solutions are found by peeking under mossy rocks and digging a little deeper. For this article I consulted The Enchanted Map Oracle Cards for insight into how you, gentle reader, can work toward your goal of being a writer, painter or entrepreneur. I drew three cards and interpreted their positions as challenge, advice, and outcome.

Challenge: Education Card – This card shows a woman sitting near a foggy ocean with a faerie coming out of her book. A stork sits in front of her watching her read and maybe hoping she’ll take notice. There is a waxing moon in the sky and there are clouds in the sky in part of the card but blue sky in the back. The woman seems oblivious to the stork and faerie but comfortable in her spot next to the ocean. Storks are said to bring luck. The quote from the book describing this card says, Life is filled with lessons. Be teachable. Wisdom comes from participating in life, not just reading about it.

Advice: Come Together Card – This card shows two giraffes with their heads pointed up and chins touching. Above the giraffes are a progression of three hearts going from small to big. Each heart has a crown in the middle of it. Sitting on top of the biggest heart is a pelican looking quite proud of itself. The book describing this card says love needs to be shared. On the path to discover the nature of this emotion and all of its forms. Time to create partnerships. Giraffes in some African cultures signify grace and beauty.

Outcome: Making a Choice (path splits) This card shows a cobblestone path in the sky with a little blue bird sitting off to the right of the path. The path splits into two possibilities one has green grass and a prairie-like setting and the other has purple skies and a crack in the ground with purple mountains in the background. In both choices a bird comes out of the door but different types of birds. One has a butterfly and the other has a sparky birds flying into the door way and the other has them flying out. The bird that flies out of the purple door is a butterfly signifying a metamorphosis. The Book says, You are required to come to a decision now. Trust your intuition and take responsibility for your actions.

I have my own interpretation of the reading, but I sought outside advice (come together) from my friend and fellow tarot expert, Jaymi. We start the discovering process by educating ourselves and going beyond our comfort zones. It is not easy to sit down and work on our craft every day but it is necessary and gets us out of our ruts. It also teaches us that maybe this is not the way we want to go and change our direction. The advice of the cards is a reminder to gather our support network and find ways to get information for our challenges. The card is telling us to recognize our contribution to the discussion and also how to lend our voices to the chorus. The outcome card ties it all together reminding us to keep walking down our paths and perfecting our crafts. Grow, learn, make choices. To quote Yoda, “Do or do not, there is no try.”

I have expounded on this topic a great deal here and here and encourage you to read these posts and lend your voice to the conversation. How do YOU find creative ways to reach your goals? What type of tools do you or could you use? Tarot card? Tea leaves? Expert advice from your cat? I’d love to hear what you have to say. Leave a comment before the spammers try to sell me a Golden Ticket.

Fragments and Shrapnel: Obstructions and Radiance

Joseph Campbell once said, “What is the obstruction in your life and how can you transform it into radiance?”

For me the obstructions are time management, direction, and how to proceed which prevent me from obtaining radiance.. that and a good moisturizer. But all kidding aside, think about all the roadblocks you put in front of yourself to prevent you from working toward your goals. Do you self-sabotage? Not go beyond your comfort zone? Not ask for help?

Last week on A Closer Look Radio, Pam interviewed entrepreneur and author Adelaide Lancaster whose book The Big Enough Company, is a guide anyone can use to achieve radiance in their businesses or every day life. Pam and Adelaide discussed the important conversations you need to have BEFORE starting a business and how to really focus on what you want to get out of running a business instead of letting it run you. Everyone wants to be their own boss but not everyone knows how.

During the interview Adelaide broke her message down into a simple recipe anyone can follow:

1. Why do you want to work for yourself and how you can you build it into your experience? What is non-negotiable for you? What do you have to get now? What can wait?

2. Create the impact you desire – what is the purpose behind the business?

3. Give yourself a job you enjoy

4. Attain the outcome you envision – what does success mean to you and what are you aiming for?

Adelaide stressed the importance of branching out and talking to people who are NOT in your industry. You may be a good writer but do you know to make a business plan or market yourself? I really never thought about talking to non-writers about the creative process. But getting an outside perspective is important so I don’t burn out or make dumb decisions. What do you do to get that perspective? How could your projects benefit from another pair of eyes?

As usual, Pam’s timing was perfect becuase I have been asking myself the same questions and so have many of my friends who are seeking new paths. We have a goal and a dream but we’re not quite sure how to mold it into something enjoyable and profitable.

If you don’t listen to A Closer Look Radio, you really should. It’s like going to a mini-business school without the inflated tuition. I have learned so much listening to this show and serving as the Content Editor. It has helped me stay motivated and given me a map and compass to help me reach my goals. You can download the show’s app for your iPhone or Android or just add it to your list of podcasts in Itunes. Pam’s excellent interview skills and fascinating guests will have you coming back for more and sharing the advice with your friends. I know I sound like an advertisement for the show but I wouldn’t tell you something was this good if it wasn’t. Just go listen… you’ll find radiance in no time.

Fragments and Shrapnel: Working Smarter not Harder

This week’s post originally began as a windy diatribe on the importance of having fun. I had most of it written before my husband, Ian, called me outside to help him with some yard work. He was working on building up our raised beds so we could plant peas and carrots. He asked me to get one of the bags of compost out of the garage and put in the wheelbarrow. My first thought was to drag the 25-pound bag across the yard and throw it into the wheelbarrow. But before I did that my thoughts turned to my mom, who on her first day of retirement, fell down her basement stairs and broke her arm. A toolbox full of pins and screws and a month of physical therapy later, she is on the mend. I have a fondness for my back so I put the bag down and grabbed the wheelbarrow and brought it into the garage. Nodding his approval, Ian looked at me and said, “Work smarter not harder.”

A light bulb went off above my head and that’s when I knew my post about having fun was headed toward the compost pile.

So what does it mean to work smarter and not harder? For one thing it means to be prepared. I worked in radio long enough to always set aside stories or fluff pieces so when a guest flaked out on an interview or we had a slow news day there was always enough material to fill time. I put my ideas for blog posts on a working list and expand on them when I have time. It gives me incentive to write when I could be goofing off checking my Facebook page and so I’m not staring at a blank page on Sunday night wondering what to write.

Working smarter and not harder is about setting limits. When I get home from work a part of me that feels like I should spend the evening writing and working on creative projects. I once read an article about a woman who would spend her evenings in the library writing and practicing her craft for 5 hours after she got done with work. I have a nagging voice in my head that tells I should be doing this, but I can’t just jump into writing when I get home. I need to have a glass of wine or some time to meditate and just enjoy being home before I jump into other projects. If I don’t then I end up spinning my wheels and nothing gets accomplished.

Last and not least, it’s about balance. I know the great American novel will not get written if all I’m doing is working on house projects. And the house won’t get cleaned if all I’m doing is writing. I am learning to find balance between my demands at home and my creative life. Sometimes one or the other has to give but if I’m prepared I won’t be caught off guard.

Last week on A Closer Look Radio, Pam interviewed Jennifer Prosek the author of Army of Entrepreneurs. Jennifer talked about how she grew a successful business by empowering her employees to work smarter and think like owners. By doing this her employees felt like they were making more of a difference and really contributing to the company not just working there. Jennifer gave lots of other great tips that can be used for business or your daily life which you can listen to by clicking here.

So as I close out for the week, I want to know how you work smarter instead of harder. 80-hour work weeks or 20? Not answering every e-mail or only answering them at certain times? Comment and let’s share ideas.

7 Deadly Fragments and Shrapnel

When I was in college I worked in a big chain box store 20 hours a week on top of my regular school schedule and part –time job in the college radio station. One Saturday afternoon at Yee Olde Boxe Store we were demonstrating cookware and I got to set up a table and show off the shiny new fondue pots. I had my system going with the chocolate bubbling at the right temperature and the shortbread cut in easy-to-spear cubes. People would walk by and I would give them my spiel about the pots and offer them a sample. While it was a mostly boring day for me, it was, however, an interesting study in social psychology.

The men-folk walked up to my table with enthusiasm and gobbled up the samples while nodding their heads in approval. The kids would do the same and try to sneak another piece when I wasn’t looking. The women, on the other hand, walked up to me with curiosity and then turned away talking about all the calories in shortbread. I would try to convince them that it was only ONE piece and I promised it was cellulite free. Quite frequently they would just laugh and walk away but a few of them came back later making excuses about being able to afford just one piece. This went on for most of the afternoon and when I closed up shop I still had lots of chocolate and shortbread left. I looked at my leftovers and thought about all the excuses and sideways glances and excuses as I dipped shortbread and offered up samples. Why do we make excuses and deny ourselves simple pleasures?

 

Now, before you accuse me of calling the kettle black, I will say that I don’t always eat the samples offered by the kind ladies in the grocery store. Most of the time the sample is something I can’t eat (like beef) or it has enough sodium to suck out all of the nutrients and water in my body. Like most people, however, I am not a perfect eater. I occasionally overindulge when I’m really hungry and if I pass by the cupcake bakery, I’m going to stop. I am not, however, going to eat a dozen cupcakes and then wash it down with a milkshake. I prefer to live by the words of Julia Child who said, “Everything in moderation… including moderation.”

This scenario plays out in my life in many other ways: I don’t want to work on a story because it’s not perfect or the first draft might be really, really bad. I don’t want to wear that shirt that makes me feel sexy because it might make me look fat. Why is it that we still entertain the medieval notion of pleasure being sinful? Why do we feel the need to have to earn our pleasure? Why do I have to run five miles before eating a cookie?

This week on A Closer Look Radio: Life and Other Matters Pam and the girls discuss the 7-Deadly Sins and their interpretations throughout different cultures and religions. Is being proud of yourself a bad thing? Is it considered gluttonous if you took a piece of shortbread from me? Can greed be good? Find out more by tuning in on Tuesday at 1 p.m. Pacific Standard Time or subscribing to the podcast via AchieveRadio.

As you go about your week I give you permission to hit the snooze button one more time or eat a small cupcake if it looks good. Just don’t over do it.

Writing, like math, is hard

As a writer with a full time job, husband and cat, I have to squeeze my writing time in when I can. This means having to replacing my favorite TV shows and Nick Cave videos with blank pages and run-on sentences. When the muse strikes, she strikes hard, but lately writing has felt more like work with a capital W and my Inner Critic is winning all the battles.

During times like these when the words just don’t flow, my inner Virgo comes out and rears her ugly head. Lists of my inadequacies are made and promises to spend an afternoon writing are never met.

After I stop beating myself up and the sun comes back out, I realized that writing, like math, is hard. Feeling like the last person on earth who figured this out, I tested my theory on a fellow writer in my bi-monthly writers group. I asked Randy if he considered writing to be work. He laughed and gave me a defeated look and said, “For me it is work. When I sit down to write I’m thinking about words and punctuation and dialog. Then, at other times, I really get into the story and feel like I’m right there with my characters time and flies. But when I can’t, then it’s work.”

I polled other writers and presented the idea at a recent meeting of creative minds with my friends. One friend said it was work only when she was procrastinating or hadn’t done it in a long time. Another said it only felt like work when she HAD to do it and was on deadline. As a former journalist, I actually LIKE being on deadline and being forced to crank out good product. The feeling gives me a sense of purpose and helps me achieve my goals. Not having a deadline or an idea of where a story is going is like telling me to sew a dress and just get it done whenever.

As we got even deeper into the subject, the topic turned to how hard it is to actually get started. One friend said it was the starting the stalls her. The story isn’t perfect in our minds so why write it down? There’s also anxiety, the fear of not finishing, and writing something no one will read. It’s a good thing we writers are such healthy people. Pass the absinthe and tuberculous please.

Is it possible to make writing fun and not Work? I rolled the idea around in my mind and thought through a few ways the Inner Critic can be silenced so we can enjoy the process.

Allow your self to write crap. A couple years ago I had an idea for a self-help book and wasn’t sure how to start. I was afraid it wouldn’t be any good and my ideas weren’t properly formed and, and, and….. Frustrated by my whining, my friend Jaymi made me write “I am allowed to have a bad first draft” on the first page of the book. It gave me permission to, as Stephen King says, just write. Spending too much time thinking about the process will get you nowhere. Write crap or whatever comes to mind. Get out! You can always edit later.

Use placeholders. When the words just won’t flow, try using idea placeholders in your stories and articles so you can go back and develop your ideas later. I once wrote scream scream scream.. yell yell yell… panic panic panic in story because I couldn’t figure out how to write the climax. I also pasted a whole Wikipedia article on absinthe into the same story and used parts of it to keep the plot going.

Get out of your comfort zone. You can’t be the next great American writer if you don’t write. Jump into the deep end of the pool. Join writers groups, get honest feedback, form your own group! I joined a writers group which forced me out of my comfort zone when I had to read in front of 10 people. It was a good exercise and taught me the finer points of giving and taking criticism. I also recommend exercising or going for walks when you’re stuck. I have worked through many ideas while I’m out running. A friend, proof reading this article, told me he gets his best ideas in the shower.

We all have our moments when writing is just no fun. Through these simple suggestions, I hope you can find your own ways of working through blocks, silence your Inner Critic and learn how to Just Write.

Nourishing Dreams: Finding Inspiration in a Parking Lot

It is said amongst creative types, that if we wait for inspiration to strike we’ll never get anything done. Most artists and writers force themselves to sit down at the easel or computer and throw paint on a palette and words on a page until the inspiration flows. Like most writers, the words just don’t flow for me after a long day at work and the lure of e-mail and Facebook threatens to sap me of what little energy I have left.

In times like these, I turn to the outside world and the unusual bits and pieces of my daily life to get the creative juices flowing. For example, I have a thing for statues. When I was in Munich I made my husband stop in the middle of the bridge while I took a picture of this statue. The woman looks so happy and content and I like to put it on my desktop to keep me inspired.

Another day I was wandering around a nursery and came upon this statue dancing and taking in the rare Pacific NW sun.

 

When I can’t find a statue to admire, I turn to houses for inspiration. One sunny Saturday morning, I was taking a workshop in Portland and a woman came in all excited because the mansion across the street was for sale. I went to the window and looked at this house and immediately fell in love. After the class, I went outside and took pictures of the house and eventually wrote a poem about all the grand things I would do if I could buy that house. I don’t normally write poems so this was a Big Deal for me and I was pleased with the outcome.

I’ve mentioned many times on this blog that I take inspiration from my daily commute. I once saw a woman board the train who was wearing shorts (it was 50-degress and raining that day) a jacket and listening to music on a portable CD player. As I snorted at her primitive technology, an opening line from a potential story popped into my head: A woman walks out of 1995 and onto a train in 2011.

While I was writing this blog post, I was chatting with my friend Jaymi about the new Etsy shop she had just opened. She was excited about the possibilities for selling her wares and rattled off ideas like adding more products, creating banners and coming up with a fabulous tag line. Sometimes just talking or chatting with friends about your ideas can get your juices flowing.

I’ve given you just a few of the ways I squeeze water out of rocks when the creative juices just won’t flow. Now I want to know how YOU find inspiration in your daily lives. Do you have a ritual? Do you take a walk in a particular neighborhood? Do you go somewhere inspiring? Drop me a line and let me know. If I get enough responses, I’ll write a series on finding inspiration from the ordinary.

Unfinished Symphony: Progress Report

I am a firm believer in accountability. I make lists throughout my work week to stay focused and on track with my projects. With my creative endeavors, I ask my friends to help me set reasonable deadlines and micro goals so I can make progress on my goals, projects and other assorted items.

As all four of my readers will remember, I presented my Unfinished Symphony to the world a couple of weeks ago as a way to get moving on unfinished projects, books and article ideas that were taking up space and getting dusty. Looking back on my great proclamation to the world, I realized I set some decent goals, but I choose to inhale the whole cake instead of cutting it up into bite-sized chunks. Here’s my progress report:

The Unread Bookshelf: The Hindu Tradition: Readings in Oriental Thought was the first book to make it off my shelf. This book explores Hinduism over the past three-thousand years and how it has shaped India’s culture, history and way of thinking. I found the book to be a little dry but it would be an excellent supplement to a class on Hinduism and an informed discussion. I learned a great deal from this book and was happy to plow through it. I decided not to keep it, however, and donated the book to the library.

Needing a little fluff after reading about the Hindu Religion, I switched gears turned to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Friends and colleagues have raved about this book so I dove into it with enthusiasm only to hit a wall at page 151. I really, really wanted to like it but if someone is going to parody a classic book, they really need to go at it 100%. The author threw in a plot about killing “unmentionables” between descriptions of English 19^th Century frippery (marriage, mangers and breeding) and I found the book to drag longer than a 10 hour mini-series. Yes, I know what the original book was about and I did laugh at some the excellent puns and plot twists but Jane Austin and I just don’t get along. Give me a Daphne du Maurier book over Jane any day. I gave it a good shot but gave up after 151 pages. This book will be sold back to Powell’s.

I’m happy to report my reading has picked up since I started this project; besides the two books I just reviewed, I’ve also read two other books in the past three weeks and I feel like I’m fitting into a pair of comfortable pants I haven’t worn in a long time. Next up on my To Read Shelf is Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History if Time.

Beyond The MegaPlex: I’m embarrassed to say that I have made no progress on these articles. Accomplished authors say you have to jump into your projects and hammer away at them EVERY DAY or you get bored and distracted by something new and shiny. Unfortunately, I let this one sit for too long and my enthusiasm has waned. Part of the problem is this is a big project. I thought just announcing it to the world would get me motivated but I didn’t cut it into bite-sized pieces of cake and got a little overwhelmed. So, in order to make this an easier mountain to climb, I will review ONE theater by the end of this month and when I’m finished, I’ll choose another theater to review in July.

Unfinished Stories: Once again, I tried to inhale the whole cake in one sitting instead of being dainty and cutting it into pieces. I did try to work on this project but mostly spun my wheels and didn’t get any work done. Not sure how to get out of my rut, I consulted my good friend and enabler Jaymi for help. She recommended something I should have done a long time ago: Figure out who I was writing to, why I was writing to these people, and what I hoped to get out of it. Duh! I sat down with a list of questions I should have answered BEFORE I started writing this book and the ideas flowed much easier than just trying to jump into the deep end of the pool. I’ve applied this technique to a few projects I have in the works and it gave me hope and encouragement to continue.

While I haven’t gotten as much done as my Inner Virgo would have liked, this exercise in setting micro goals has helped me regroup, focus and continue on my path instead of burning out and beating myself up. Do you do this? If so, how do you get around your own self-imposed roadblocks and stumbles? Drop me a line and let me know. The spammers have found my blog and I would like some REAL comments not something written by a third-grader in India trying to get me to buy Viagra.

Fragments and Shrapnel: When It’s Not Shiny Anymore

We’ve all been there. We get an idea for a story or project that is so fabulous it will win awards and we’ll get accolades from our peers. It’s exciting! It’s something NEW! It’s fun! We jump in head first only to find the polish has worn off after a few weeks and this actually WORK and we’re going to have to put some muscle behind it. Yes, there are times when the words flow like a bottle of good red wine, but this post is about what to do when the newness wears off and we must decide whether to continue or run to the next shiny object.

I recently found myself in a similar situation with a book I’m currently writing. The idea was there, and it is a GREAT idea but the shininess wore off and now it’s HARD. I wasn’t working on it every day (or taking my own advice) and I didn’t know who my audience was for this book. I spun my wheels and avoided writing. Feeling I needed some outside advice, I presented my dilemma to a group of friends during our monthly meeting of the creative minds. We all had the same problem at one point of the other and came up with some easy solutions:

No Energy – The day job. The Spouse. The dinner to make. The pet that needs walks and love. There’s not much energy left to be creative once we’ve come home and met everyone else’s needs. It’s much easier to watch TV or play games on Facebook then do more work. Accomplished writers advise adjusting your sleep schedule or borrowing a cottage from Tori Amos (I’m look at you Neil Gaiman!) to get those words out. Since Tori refuses to let me borrow one of her houses and I have to go to bed early, I dig deep and just DO it. I use the same mindset for when I don’t want to run or exercise. I put my shoes on and just GO. Not finishing last in a race or not letting someone else steal my ideas is my motivation.

Rotate Projects- Remember that story you put aside months ago because you couldn’t figure out the ending? Or maybe those articles you have been meaning to write and are collecting dust on your hard drive? Now is the time to revisit them and see if you can figure out the ending or schedule an interview to finish an article. I like go back and re-read things I thought were crap only to realize they were quite good. It gives me the positive boost of energy I need to keep going.

Work with other mediums – When you’re two seconds from throwing your computer and inner editor out the window, take a step back and work on a different creative medium. Many of my friends knit, crochet or work with paper (collage, journaling, etc) when the words just won’t flow. I like to take out my stamps and ink pads and make cards or go around my house and neighborhood taking pictures of unusual or inspiring things. It calms me down and gives me the instant gratification I need to go back to writing.

Re-Charge Batteries – Stephen King highly recommends writers go for walks or exercise every day. It gets the blood and ideas flowing AND gets you away from the computer. I like to go for hikes or go to the ocean when I’m in a rut and need to recharge a battery or two. I have season tickets to a local theater and just the act of attending a play gets me excited about my projects. I also have a group of friends I meet with each month who are good for bouncing off ideas and providing fodder for blog posts!

Manage Project Overload – Learning new things is very important to me and I enjoy exploring all the different ways I can be creative. I have a long list of things I would like to do at some point like produce a podcast, write articles for magazines and publish a book. The problem comes when I’m staring at the pile of projects wondering where to start. I get overwhelmed and I end up not wanting to do any of it. I turn to time sucks like e-mail and Facebook and by the end of the night I have accomplished nothing. I recently expressed this frustration to my friend Jaymi who wisely recommended I plan out my weeks a little better. DUH! Sitting at my computer staring at a blank page is not progress. Deciding that Tuesday is writing day and Friday is creativity and networking day is a much better plan. I do it when I plan out my exercising for the week, why can’t I do it for my creative endeavors? It keeps me on track and focused so nothing gets neglected and I feel like I’ve accomplished everything on my list.

One of my literary heroes Oscar Wilde once said, Our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more. How do you try and rule yourself without getting overwhelmed?

Life Changing Fragments and Shrapnel

As a member of the X Generation, I have spent many years developing and improving upon my cynical nature and stockpiling large quantities of snark to create the sparkling personality that is Anna Alexander. Despite this large cache of weapons and a bunker that would make Dick Cheney jealous, the occasional romantic movie (Wings of Desire) or book (Time Traveler’s Wife) will sneak in and give me comfort and hope. Secretly.

During these moments of weakness, I sometimes read articles or hear interviews with A Famous Person who talks about watching a movie or listening to a song that Completely Changed Their Life. These comments give me pause and I have to ask, “Really?” A catastrophic accident, divorce, losing a limb, or winning the lottery Completely Changes Your Life, but are the opening lines of Smells Like Teen Spirit really that life changing?

Looking back on my own life, there are situations where I had to change gears or carve out a different path or was inspired by art but nothing that Changed My Life. I remember watching Henry Rollins speak on The Late Show with David Letterman and he was talking about why you should take better care of yourself. It wasn’t preachy or condescending; he just simply presented the facts in his in-your-face Henry Rollins style. It made sense and I made a few minor adjustments to my lifestyle so as to not disobey Henry.

Recently, I presented the idea of Life Changing Moments to group of friends and asked if they are really possible. My friend Kim said she was moved by Pearl Jam’s video for Even Flow where Eddie Vedder stages dives into the crowd. She said it wasn’t life changing but it did help her make a necessary jump in her life. We chewed on the idea some more and concluded that instances like this remind us of what we forgot to help us re-evaluate our situations. We called it Trigger Moments. I remember attending a talk lead by Bono and afterward I wanted to go heal the world and cure AIDS. Well, not really, but it made me more aware and informed of the AIDS situation in Africa. When I got laid off of my job of 9 years, it was the boot that I needed to get going on my writing career and get moving on projects that had gone stagnant. Trigger Moments like these are the glue that helps solidify our ideas and get us moving toward a goal.

Now, as a secret romantic, I sometimes hope for that moment when someone will read my blog and think I’m the greatest writer since Edgar Allen Poe (one of my heroes) and want to publish my work instead of having to bang my head on the keyboard. It’s normal. As I write, I have a pile of projects and dreams that need attention and some days I just want to watch TV and stare at the wall. But until I run into a literary agent who likes me, I plan to continue collecting life experiences and cheesy Life Changing Movies (hello Lake House!) to keep me motivated and walking on a path toward something greater.

So, gentle reader, tell me about your trigger moments and what changes you made to better your life or change direction. How do we use those moments to move forward on our paths instead of waiting for the mystery person to find us and hand us our dreams?

Coming up on the blog, I plan to to do a series of interviews with people who have made the necessary steps to Change Their Lives and how they went about doing it. My cousin Jessica was working as a scientist in Antarctica and got bit by the acting bug. I’ll tell you what happened and how she’s helping others manifest their own dreams.

Fragments and Shrapnel: Lemonade Compost

When people say things like, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade” I want to kick them and turn the lemons into compost. Unlike Eric Idle, I don’t always look on the bright side of life, but when I saw a photographer take some lemons and turn them into art, I knew I had to write about it.

I’ve been following Mike Wilson on Live Journal (remember that?) for a couple of years. I find his pictures to be very inspiring because he takes normal every day things like, oh, tentacles and turns them into art. Last week he wrote about an impromptu photo shoot he did while sitting near the Puget Sound while he waited for a ferry. Instead of twittering or complaining about how bored he was, he took advantage of the down time and using a few simple rules for his project, created some very beautiful pictures. Read the post here. The post got me thinking about all the excuses I have for not having enough of X to get Y. My office is messy and uninspiring so how can I write? I only have a point-and-shoot camera so I can’t possibly take good pictures! You get the idea. We all do it.

So, using the same technique, I took in my surroundings one Friday afternoon while working at a spa. I listened to a woman who was getting a manicure talk about her bizarre long-distance relationship. I figured it would make a great story on the Lifetime Network. Another woman getting a pedicure was discussing The Naked Bike Ride and how that would “only happen in Portland!” See! I just got two story ideas!

In the past, I’ve encouraged you to look around and Write Your Weird – much like I am encouraging you to do here. Think about all the unusual ways you can write your weird or create something while waiting for a plane, train or ferry. From where I am sitting at home, I have a coffee cup/pen holder with the Bill Rights printed on it sitting on my desk. If I were to pour coffee in it, the print on the mug would disappear. Much ink has been spilled about our disappearing rights especially after The Patriot Act was passed and renewed. Much more ink is waiting to be spilled. Moving up right in front me, there are two bats and a turtle called Gamera staring at me from the top of my computer monitor. Surely this combination of characters could make their way into a children’s book or comic book and either take over or destroy the world. I’ve taken writing workshops where the presenter put three items on a table and told us to write about them. See where I’m going?

Like most writers, I sometimes wait for inspiration to bite but many times I go looking for it. I find the journey to inspiration much more enjoyable as I process the world I live in rather than sitting at home and staring at a blank page.

So I want to know, how do YOU find inspiration from your daily life and what sort of things have you created because of it?

Reinvention: An Occasional Series

For the past year or so I’ve been on a mission to reinvent myself as a writer, creative person and all around better person. I’ve been knocking around ideas for a series of interviews with people who have reinvented themselves and also to feature ways in which you can reinvent other aspects of our life. For the opening piece to this feature, I’m starting with something near and dear to our hearts: Our homes.

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Comedian George Carlin once said a house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it so we can go out and get more stuff. In my neighborhood it is practically unheard of to park your car in your garage. There is a family two doors down from us whose garage is packed full of failed dreams, auto parts and vending machines. Another family has turned their garage into a man cave while they park their expensive vehicles on the street. When did we let our stuff become us? Is clutter good for us? Why do we let our Beanie Baby obsessions crowd into our living space and why is my office such a mess?

I turned to Indianapolis-based massage therapist and professional de-clutterer Jennifer Baron, to get her ideas on how we can reinvent our homes or just a small corner of our houses to help us be more creative.

1. I have often bemoaned to anyone who will listen that my office is uninspiring. I have a few interesting pictures on the wall and things that make me smile, but it’s really cluttered. How can I make it more inspiring?

First, take time to de-clutter. Clutter will distract you, cause anxiety and waste your time because you’re looking for things and clutter will suck the inspiration out of any room. Once you’ve de-cluttered I suggest painting the room a shade of orange, which sparks creativity, or yellow which lifts your spirits, to take the room to the next level. Color affects us, so use this inexpensive trick to your advantage. Next, hang a corkboard with things that inspire you like pictures from your favorite destinations, fabric or wallpaper swatches that tickle your fancy or pictures of people that you admire.

2. So, most of us don’t have thousands to spend to re-decorate our houses to where we want them, what are some simple things we can do?

De-clutter, change your paint color and rearranging the furniture placement are three simple and inexpensive tweaks you can make that have big impact. I know I’m beating a dead horse, but I’ve gone through my entire house and let go of things I don’t use or love and the feeling of freedom I have is fantastic! Generally speaking, cool colors like shades of blue, green and purple are soothing and calming and warm tones like orange, red and yellow are energetic. Decide the feeling you want a space to elicit and find a shade that speaks to you. Most of us push all our furniture up against the walls because we think it creates more space in the rooms or because we’re not sure how else to arrange it. Try other arrangements and see how they look. This one simple tweak can completely change the flow, feel and energy of the room, and can make it more cozy and conducive for conversation.

3. Got any hard fast rules for whether to keep or throw it away?

I stick to the “one year rule.” If you haven’t used it, worn it or missed it in 365 days then let it go! Only keep the clothes that flatter and make you feel good about yourself, not the jeans you hope to get into “someday.” “Someday, later, and what if” keep clutter in your life and keep you stuck in either the past or future but not living in the present. Going through your things with a professional or good friend will keep you honest and on-track. Sell or donate the things you no longer use to get some cash or help a charity. That’s a win-win situation. There is one exception to this rule. If you have a special item from a loved one who has passed away, keep it but make sure you find a way to honor the item rather than stuffing it in a drawer, closet or box.

4. I was reading a book in which the author talks about Shadow Comforts (internet, TV, etc) and how they can zap your time and energy. Can clutter or a messy house/workspace do the same?

Absolutely! The average person loses 7 hours every week because they are looking for things they can’t find. That’s huge and not OK with me. Your life is precious and I know there are other important things you’d rather be doing with your 7 hours instead of looking for your keys, child’s permission slip or important photograph. Clutter also has a negative energy about it. If you have a cluttered room or space, how do you feel when you’re in there, I bet not well. Clutter has a way of draining you of your positive energy and it leaves you feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and frustrated.

5. The author also talked about how these Shadow Comforts tell us we aren’t good enough to be creative. What can people do in their everyday lives to de-clutter their minds?

Many of my massage clients have what I call “gerbil wheel mind.” It just spins and spins and they have a hard time slowing it down. I’ve found a few things that have helped with my own “gerbil mind” and they are journaling, jotting down a to-do list and getting outside into nature. Every night before bed I write my to-do list for the following day. That way I don’t have to fret or worry about trying to remember something through the night. I’ve got it jotted down and I sleep so much better for having taken a few moments to get it out of my head. The act of writing or typing allows you to let them go so your brain doesn’t have to work to hold onto them, and it also helps to release some of the energy surrounding the things on your mind. Taking a few minutes to walk outside especially with a buddy really helps to clear your mind, get a new perspective about an issue and delivers fresh oxygen to your entire body, which is calming and rejuvenating.

6. Do you think reinventing one’s house can help them in their own reinvention of their lives?

Absolutely! For me there was a line in the sand, I had enough and the light switch was flipped in my head and heart. And as I started to make the changes in my home I noticed shifts in my thinking and perspectives. I began to de-clutter my busy schedule, doing only the things I really enjoyed and was interested in and started giving time and attention to new interests, hobbies and friends. As we let go of material and non-material things that no longer serve us, it creates space to breathe and/or room for awesome amazing people and things we weren’t even dreaming of.

7. How have you personally reinvented yourself?

People and helping them improve their lives are my passions. I’ve been doing Massage Therapy and bodywork since 1995 and love it. Residential Organizing is also a love as are all things interior design and decorating. Our spaces either lift us up or bring us down. As cheesy as it may sound I feel like caterpillar that has gone through, and continues to go through, her own metamorphosis mentally, emotionally and physically. As I change my thinking and perspectives I take action and then experience a delightful outer shift in my spaces and even my weight.

Fragments and Anvils

Last week, an anvil flew across the country and found its final resting place on top of my head. It happened after I read a blog post by photographer extraordinaire, Kyle Cassidy in which he wrote about his exciting escapades and the amazing people he works with. Kyle closed his post by telling his readers to do what you love and work really hard at it. As I read this, the clouds parted (briefly, this is Portland after all) and the sun came out long enough for me to watch the anvil land squarely on my head. For the past couple of months I have been writing lists and making plans on how to proceed toward my creative goals but I haven’t made any movement. Sure, micro goals have been crossed off the list and squeaky wheels oiled but I haven’t taken any big chunks out of anything. I’ve mostly just swept up the dust off the floor.

As I rubbed the lump from the anvil, I thought about something my parents hammered into our heads while we were growing up: Work hard; doing the bare minimum will get you nowhere. Accomplished writers and artists talk about getting up early and staying up late while they work on their art. I do neither because I have to get up way too early for work, but what I can do is use my free time wisely when I get home instead of complaining about what my life isn’t.  Waiting for everything to be perfect or just so will not help me meet fabulous people, get married to Neil Gaiman and write the next best self-help book since The Secret. Instead, I have decided, it’s time for me to take my friend Jaymi’s advice and dive head-first into the deep-end and write a crappy first draft on many of the projects that are collecting dust.

I’m grateful for the priority express anvil from Philadelphia and the clear skies that followed.

As I close this blog post, I’d like to know what anvils have hit you on the head recently and how you plan on following through. NOW is the time jump.

Fragments and Shrapnel: Making Content

I have two rules I follow when it comes to blogging and social media: Never complain about work and never air your family secrets. Everything else is fair game. People don’t need to know that you hate your boss because everyone hates their boss or has an annoying co-worker. And honestly, I could care less if Uncle Lester got drunk at a family reunion and told you he wants to be Aunt Lisa instead. Save it for the tabloids.

This week, however, I am going to break one of my rules and air a family secret. This skeleton is hidden deep in the closet under a pseudonym and buried under pages of useless websites. It could possibly ruin my credibility as a writer but it is something I have to share: My husband writes fan fiction. He has fans stretching from India to Trinidad and Tobago waiting with baited breath as he cranks out page after page of Harry Potter stories. It’s embarrassing but it keeps him off the streets.

All joking aside, the reason I bring this is up is because this week I’ve been thinking about content. Like most people, I find myself clicking on various web pages or flipping channels when I’m seeking mindless entertainment and wishing there was something better. This came into a conversation when my husband (Mr. Fan Fic) and I were driving around and he was telling me about his latest story. He got the idea from one of the HP books and felt the concept could be expanded. Instead of spamming JK Rowling’s website, he wrote the story himself to much fanfare from his world-wide readers.

Making your own content is time consuming and not as mindless television but it’s much more rewarding. I shared this concept with my friend Jaymi and she passed along these tips to help get you started.

• The first step is to identify your passion. What drives you to want to share? What things would you want to share?

• The second is to create lists of possible interest topics or things to share. They don’t need to be long, shorter is better, but you might want to have a list of 30 items or more to kick start the writing/sharing bug.

• Once you have your list, start working on your content. Buy a cheap camera and take pictures, create a blog or website, buy a flip camera and shoot a documentary on the daily rituals of your cat, dog or guinea pig. Jaymi’s husband recently bought a motorcycle and has been documenting his new passion by taking pictures of his road trips and posting them on Google Maps.

So, now that I have aired some family secrets and showed how you can be inspired by things like fan fic and motorcycle rides, what are you passions? How can you turn them into content for bored people surfing the internet or flipping channels? How can you create your own content?

Fragments and Silly String

Many of you know that my aunt Tricia has made a living clowning for at least 600 years. Well, maybe not that long, but I’m guessing it’s been at least 20 years. I get her newsletter every month not because I want to be a clown, but because she offers good advice and helpful tips on meeting your goals and acting on your dreams. This month she offered up some sage advice from the fabulous French novelist, Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette, You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.

I read this and thought about all the times I didn’t do something because it was crazy, scary or just plain silly. Today on the way home I walked by the Salmon Street Fountain in downtown Portland and stopped and watched the little kids play and shriek in the fountain. They looked so happy and carefree and I was just a little jealous. When the leaves fall, I take advantage of the fresh piles and run through them but only when no one is looking.

I can be a very look before I leap type of person when an exciting or new thing presents itself to me. Lately, however, I have been focusing so much on writing and Getting Things Done that I haven’t made any time to play. As the quote knocked around my head like a pinball, I started on a little collage of all the inspirational places I’ve been. I cut out pictures from New York City like the Hotel Chelsea, CBGBs and a fabulous deli called Zabar’s. I pasted a picture of a statue I took in Munich and an image from an opera house in Paris. I may not be able to go there any time soon, but having the view is very inspiring. It makes me want to jump and do foolish things and not care if people are watching.

Like my aunt, and many in my family for that matter, it’s time for me to do foolish things enthusiastically. All those adventures I’ve been meaning to go on this summer need to be done before the rain comes back and I wonder where summer went. I will run through a sprinkler and walk through a water fall, and who knows, sit down and write a silly story.

What about you?

Resting on Fragments and Shrapnel

Whether a person is training for The Tour du France or their first 5K, a good trainer will tell you one of the most important things to remember is to rest and recover. Yes, rest. Not killing yourself every day by running around but taking a day off. Resting. Healing. Something we Americans aren’t very good at doing.

I was reading in one of the many trivia books we have in our bathroom that during the 1800’s it was common to cite “exhaustion” on a male’s death certificate to indicate the man was admired and displayed society’s value of a hard work ethic. Of course, people in the lower classes who actually did work themselves to death were listed as “lacking fortitude”.

I grew up in a Protestant work environment and my husband often jokes I have character coming out of places where character should not be leaking. I struggle with “down time” because I feel like I should be productive creative ALL the time. Last week, I read something Ira Glass had written about how hard you have to work when you are just starting out and I realized I needed to make some changes. I can’t get anything done if I’m sitting on the couch thinking about how unproductive I am, but I can’t be productive when I don’t have any down time. So, I came up with a plan and started on my path toward the work/relaxation balance.

This is how I did it:

I set daily intentions. Each day when I got home from work I took a little time to chat with my husband, eat dinner and enjoy a glass of wine. After dinner when I was feeling more grounded, I sat down in front of my computer and before I even clicked on the Firefox icon, would state my intention. I would choose one thing in the pile of stuff I have to get done and work on it. Write for an hour, work on a chapter, edit and make notes on a book idea. When I was done I would either keep going or stop and do something else.

I set work days. Knowing that I get absolutely nothing done on Fridays, I set a certain amount of days of the week I would work. I have in the past, planned what I am going to do each day in advance but I always end up doing something else. Knowing that I had to get a certain amount of work done by Friday was helpful and kept me focused.

I enjoyed my down time. I made a decision early on in the week that not only did I deserve down time but I was going to enjoy it. When I was done with my projects for the evening, I was DONE. I didn’t keep slogging and stay up too late, I stopped. I read, I watched Project Runway, I did a little yoga. It felt really good. On the days I didn’t do much of anything (Saturday) I enjoyed my time and didn’t beat myself for not being productive. Later in the evening when I had an idea for a project, I didn’t feel bad about working on my “day off.”

Like most people, I used to go, go, go until I got sick or my body was run down. Finding this balance is still a work in progress for me but my Inner Lutheran is a little quieter and I’m enjoying the process a little more. What about you? How do you find the balance between work and play?

Fragments and Shrapnel: An Inspiring Collage

It may shock you to learn that I am not a ducks in bonnets type of person. I don’t do go to craft fairs and I don’t have cozies for my toaster and toilet paper. I don’t have wallpaper runners along my ceiling and no stenciled art on the walls. I’m more of a mobile made out of shards of glass and tire shreds type of person. So, when I read books on creativity that tell me to make a collage, I usually skip over that chapter. Collages never really inspired me (despite the fact I’m a very visual person) and I don’t have a whole lot of wall space for them. Some of the ideas seemed a little too vague for me to get out my scissors and glue: Make a collage for what you want to do with your life, for how you want to look, for the type of car, lifestyle, and whatever else you want in your life. No thanks.

I changed my tune one day when I found myself thinking about all the things I don’t have like more money, an unlimited travel budget and condo in New York City. Simple things, really. Instead of going down the spiral of shame and poverty, I decided to make a collage to bring inspire me to be more creative and bring these things into my life.

Before I made the collage, I sat down and made a list of all the places I’ve traveled and things I’ve seen that made me feel alive and creative. My list included:

New York City
Munich
Paris
The theater
Neat houses
Concerts

Once I had my list, I thought about the reasons why I liked these places. Most of them have music, art and a certain energy with which I could connect. I then went a little deeper to places in Munich or Paris I really liked and cut out images. Here is a picture of the collage I made (click on the image for a larger version) and I’ll explain the images starting at the top left and going clockwise:

House: I saw this house in SE Portland one day and it took my breath away. It was for sale and I couldn’t even imagine how much it was selling for but I knew I had twelve cents in my pocket for a down payment. I stood outside gaping at the house and thought about what I could do if I lived there. I would hold fabulous dinner parties, learn how to paint, invite creative people over and have brilliant discussions. I was so inspired by the house I went home and wrote a poem about it. I don’t write poems.

CBGBs: When I was in high school, some girls had the mall or California as their ultimate ideal. For me, it was CBGB’s. Every up and coming musician and punk group I enjoyed got their start there and it was a place I wanted to visit. Unfortunately, I was unable to go to CBGBs before it closed but I still find to be very inspiring.

Champs Elysees, Paris: Some people don’t like Paris, I loved it. I loved the food, the culture, the art and standing on top of the Arc de Triomphe made me feel alive. Some day I’ll go back, maybe with my friend Shonna since she speaks French and we’ll eat pain au chocolate and drink good wine.

Theatre des Champs Elysees: I love concerts and music and this concert hall, while I have never been here, just looks inspiring even while empty. I could only imagine crowds roaring after a particularly well played piece is performed. I want one for my living room.

Statue in Munich: When my husband and I were in Munich in 2006, I saw this statue while I was crossing a bridge. I had to stop and take a picture because she looked so happy and tranquil while she enjoyed her place in the sun.

Justice Card: This image is from the Justice card in the Shadowscapes Tarot Deck. It’s a reminder for me to find balance in everything I do. I have on this collage to remind me that my e-mails and Facebook can wait when I get home from work and I should do some writing first.

Hallway in the Hotel Chelsea: Much like CBGB’s, writers and musicians I love lived and overdosed here at some point in their career. But they created magical things and most importantly, believed in what they were doing. I walked by the Chelsea Hotel when I was in New York City and breathed in all it had to offer and read the plaques on the walls. When I go back to NYC again, I want stay there, even if it is just for a night.

I obviously don’t have enough $$ to buy the house or go to New York City but the least I can do is bring them to me. What about you? What sort of collages or art projects can you make to bring more inspiration into your life? Drop me a line and let me know what you created. I’d love to hear back from you!

Fragments and Shrapnel: A Guest Post

When Jacques Pépin read Julia Child’s masterpiece, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, he was a little jealous and felt it was the type of book he should have written. Last week, Detroit-area music officiando and all-around fabulous person, Karen Koski, wrote an article on how to stay employable when you are unemployed. It is something that everyone should read whether you have a job or not. I was impressed with Karen’s honesty and, like Jacques, a little jealous I didn’t write it. Karen gave me permission to re-post this article so others can learn from her experiences. The original can be found here.

 

Some Thoughts About Unemployment

By Karen Koski

I don’t talk about it very much, but I’m one of those 99ers – that ever-increasing group of folk who have gotten their 99 weeks of unemployment and are floating outside the pale of the working world. I’ve not had any unemployment checks since February.

I just got a petition to ask Monster to stop letting employers ban unemployed people from even applying for jobs. There have been articles floating around the web talking about how employers aren’t hiring people who are unemployed. It’s pretty bad out there. Or out here, as the case may be.

I signed the petition, but it got me thinking. Back in the days when I was working in employment and training, it was an axiom that employers hired people who were working. So we would counsel our clients to do something, anything, just to be able to show a prospective employer that you had initiative. Honestly, that really hasn’t changed. It’s just that more people are out of work at a higher level than ever before, and going and getting a job, any job, just isn’t cost effective. Or possible. I know. I understand that. But the not-hiring of the unemployed means that we unemployed have to be creative about what we do with our time and how we show that we are indeed spilling over with initiative.

For example, technically, I’m not unemployed; I’m under-employed. I have things I do on a contract basis. I have projects, like the concert series and all the side projects that engenders. I’m pretty busy. And if the temp agency I’ve worked with over the years had more work, you bet I’d be doing that as well.

And I have to say this: 1) this job interview I just had came about because a recruiter searched and found my resume on Monster. 2) No one asked me about being unemployed because I included all of my wacky artsy stuff on there, and since I’m currently active with the temp agency, I’m technically employed. 3) During the course of the first interview, I made sure he knew that I had already contracted for a short-term position a few weeks from now. I did that so that he could see I wasn’t just sitting around waiting; I was doing things.

Employers who don’t allow the unemployed to apply are really only shooting themselves in the foot. This is the best way to find out about how a person reacts under negative conditions – the old ‘when the going gets tough, the tough get going’ kind of thing. If employers are just looking for drones, then there’s no need to be able to judge a person’s character. But if they’re looking for people who will continue to persevere, who can remain cheerful and positive and creative in the face of adversity, this is the perfect opportunity to seek them out and add them to the team.

I don’t know if I’m going to get this job, but boy, I’m so grateful to have had the opportunity to interview for it. I hope the gentlemen who interviewed me saw what I wanted them to see. And most of all, I’m proud of the fact that I chose to use this time to do positive things. I’m a better person for it.

Eat, Fragments, Shrapnel: What I learned in 352 pages

This week’s blog post is brought to you by Elizabeth Gilbert. The Eat, Pray, Love Elizabeth Gilbert… not some other random Liz Gilbert I met on the street or while commuting to work. But it might as well have been some random stranger… because Elizabeth Gilbert has been stalking me and taunting me.. daring me to read her book.

When Eat, Pray, Love first came out I thought the idea of finding yourself by going to India and eating a lot was a great idea. It has always been my dream to be a travel writer and I’ve been jealous of Anthony Bourdain the first moment I watched No Reservations. Lizzie’s gig sounded like a great idea but when the book became a run-away best seller and movie I didn’t want anything to do with it. I’m one of those weirdos who ignores best sellers and pop music and prefers to dig deep and turn over rocks to find the truly interesting gems. When I visit a new city, I rarely go on organized tours preferring to find my own way around and stumble on to the interesting back alleys and sights.

Elizabeth Gilbert, for some reason is different. She has always been in my peripheral vision with little blips on my radar no matter how hard I try to ignore her. She gave a thought-provoking interview talking about how her muses give her ideas and what might happen if she ignores them. She then went on to quote Tom Waits, which, in my opinion, is a good thing. I told a friend about the interview and she recommended I watch Lizzie’s talk on Ted.Com. I watched because I was intrigued and everything I’ve watched on that website is wonderful.

So, it was no coincide that I took a trip to the library this weekend to pick up a deep book about Sigmund Freud’s cocaine addiction and Eat, Pray, Love taunted me from the Staff Pick’s shelf. I had just gotten back from a writing group and spent two hours with some truly talented writers. I should have been inspired but I left feeling like a hack. I didn’t eat enough before I went to the group and had difficulties with the writing prompts and didn’t feel like sharing my ramblings. I felt like I had hit bottom so I picked the book off the self and read the dust jacket. It was free and if I didn’t like it I wouldn’t be out $10 or $15 or however much the trade paperback costs so I had nothing to lose.

I took the book home along with a book about Sigmund Freud and inhaled it like a person devoid of oxygen. I wrote down quotes from Rumi and took notes from the book. I haven’t taken notes from a book since college. About the time I read her letter to the Universe, the dam broke and I put the book down and cried. In this letter she unselfishly asked for what she truly wanted and deserved. She signed the letter “with all her heart” and went on to list a cast of characters ranging from Abraham Lincoln to Joan of Arc to Jim Henson who would sign her letter as well.
I’m about to turn 38 in a couple of weeks and the big 4-0 is looming off in the distance. I believe that age is a state of mind and have met some mature 12 year olds and immature 50 year olds. But there’s something about turning 40 in two years that has made me take a mental inventory of my life. I have traveled more than most people I know, I’ve raced in 3 triathlons and lived in exotic locales like Washington, D.C. and Missoula, Montana but something inside of me (the inner critic perhaps?) thinks I should be hitting my stride when I turn 40 instead of spinning my wheels.

I’m not going to say this book changed my life, but it did give me a compass and a direction and told me to start walking. If I really truly want Anthony Bourdain’s job, I know I’m going to have to work hard but with a little more faith in myself and others (Elvis?) I can believe I can reach those goals. Even before I’m 40.

Fragments and Fantasy – Learning from your fantasy self

As a Virgo and person of good Lutheran Midwestern upbringing, clutter and I don’t get along. My husband and I have spent many a Sunday evening digging through our recycle bin trying to find important documents I tossed because they were on the kitchen table or counter. I have had to beg people to forward e-mails I sent them because I cleaned out my inbox or sent mail box too quickly. I hate it when my work and creative space is cluttered and can’t work until the room is tidied up a bit.

I have subscribed to a variety of minimalism blogs and I even offered up an interview with the fabulous Jennifer Baron on how to de-clutter your creative space, but when I came across this article by Miss Minimalist, it made me stop and think. In this article, Miss Minimalist talks about our fantasy selves and how we have to let them go so our TRUE selves can grow and flourish. She encourages her readers to get rid of the fantasy self that dreams of having an immaculate Martha Stewart House but hasn’t lifted up a broom in 5 years, or the self that is an Uber Athlete but can barely make it up the stairs without having to rest.

I know what she is getting at, she doesn’t want people to live in their heads and accumulate an attic full of chandeliers and fancy dresses, but I disagree with what she is saying. Instead of letting go of our fantasy selves, we should let them guide us. For example: I would secretly like to have a perfect Martha Stewart front yard. I know I could never get it to HER ideal but I would like to be able to look at the yard without shaking my head and glaring at all the weeds. We don’t really have the money right now to rip up all the grass and start over, so we end up ignoring it and mowing the weeds when they need mowing. Instead of shaking our heads, we could be improving the yard in stages.

If you have a secret Mary Tyler Moore life and really and truly want to write, start your own blog. Get a beret. Throw it outside of your apartment building and be happy. I secretly want Anthony Bourdain’s life (I don’t know if it’s much of a secret anymore since I write about it all the time). So instead of whining about what I don’t have, I have started writing small travel articles I will eventually post here. I have to start somewhere and I use him as my inspiration.

Obviously, there is a fine line between realizing your dreams and something that will just never happen. We have to take physical and other issues into consideration. Can you truly achieve a goal or is just a fantasy? What is preventing us from acting on our fantasy selves? When I was young I wanted to be an astronaut. Really and truly. But then I learned that being an astronaut is more than flying in a space shuttle. It takes a lot of work, math and other things I just wasn’t capable of doing. So I set my sights a little closer to the ground.

My cousin Jessica (with whom I am interviewing for a feature on this website) recently started a website called Future Me! Now for people to manifest their goals. Each day people write things like, It is December 1st and I am debt free or I booked this acting job and am happily paying my bills. My mom went on the website daily and wrote about the smooth sale of her business and how the new owners were happy. She did this until the sale of the coffee shop and it helped her get through the process when things were looking bleak.

What about you? How are your fantasy selves helping or hurting you? What can you do to act on them or maybe let them go to find something closer to your own talents and limitations? Let me know and I’ll share your story on my website!

Reinvention Series: Antarctica and The Acting Bug

Jessica Manuel is not one of those people who starred in her high school production of Our Town and got bit by the acting bug. Her path to the stage began at McMurdo Station in Antarctica where she managed to find the only living bug there and get bit by it. Her time in the South Pole lead her to pursue her dream in acting and star in a one-woman show detailing life at the bottom of the earth called The Antarctica Chronicles.

Jessica lives in Los Angeles and has worked on shows like 90210, CSI: Miami and a couple of really neat Marvel Comic One-Shots. In her spare time, she works as a transformational coach helping people achieve their dreams. In the first part of this series, Jessica talks about her path from Antarctica to L.A., how she stays motivated and why Toddlers and Tiaras is on her guilty pleasures list.

1. You were working in Antarctica of all places and got bit by the acting bug, how did this happen?

I had signed a year contract to work at McMurdo Station. I went back with the intention to save money to go to school for something creative. At the time I thought it was going to be film school. I was at a field camp, fueling helicopters, when a station email was sent out stating that there were going to be auditions held in McMurdo for “Much Ado About Nothing.” I wasn’t able to make the auditions, but I said I would like to help out in any way. Next thing I know, I got an email that said, “fortune smiles on you.” The director Jason Davis offered me the role of Beatrice (still my favorite Shakespearean character.) We did the play in the gym and the second I walked out on stage I felt the sky open up and I knew that I had to pursue acting. The bug had hit me in the face.

2. How did this little bug take you from Antarctica to Australia?

I remember Jason telling me that there was an acting school in Sydney and he said it was like an “Actors Candy Land.” I was sold. We travel through Christchurch New Zealand when we get off the ice. I headed to Sydney, got an acting coach and auditioned to get into the National Institute of Dramatic Art (NIDA). There were 2300 people auditioning for 23 spots. I beat the odds and was accepted. I spent the next three years living and going to school in Sydney. After I graduated I stayed in Sydney for another year before moving to Los Angeles.

 

3. As someone that is trying to earn a living and follow their dream in a sea of people doing the same, how do you set yourself apart from the others and how do you stay motivated?

I truly believe as an actor you can set yourself apart the moment you walk in the door of an audition. That moment is crucial, because when you walk in you bring your energy with you. There are a lot of frustrated actors out here. If you carry that frustration (I hate my job, traffic was awful, I need a new agent) into an audition, you’re toast. People might not be able to put a finger on why they don’t want to hire you, but it was something. So my strategy is to bring a happy, whole, joyful human into the room. Aside, from all the technique, training and hours of class work, I want to be a person that these people can look at and say, “Yes, I’d like to work with her. She seems like someone that would be fun, competent, and nice to have on set.” You have to realize that these people are bringing you into their family. Especially if it’s a long running TV show, they want things to run smoothly and time is money. They need people who are talented, but also normal; by normal I mean someone who is not going to be a crazy pants on set. Trust me, they are out there.

And as far as keeping motivated, I simply believe that I am on the right path and that if I don’t book a job, there was a reason. I have to say I didn’t always feel like that, but my transformational work really changed all that. There were times that I would freak out if I didn’t get a job or had a bad audition. My weekend would be filled with thoughts of, “I’m a horrible actor. I’m never going to succeed. Everybody else is better than me.” All that crap gets exhausting! Through the course I learned about non-attachment and surrender and those were powerful concepts for me. Now my auditions are fun and if I don’t get a job, I’m not attached to that outcome. I let it go, because simply there is nothing I can do about it. I don’t know why they didn’t hire me, I’m brunette they wanted a blonde, I’m too tall, to short, who knows, but wracking my brain trying to figure it out was just wasted energy. Nothing will wear you out more than trying to change something you can’t.

 

4. What keeps you going when times are lean things are looking bleak?

Trust me, there are a lot of those times when you are an actor. You have to have thick skin and not take anything personally. That’s easier said than done. I remember plenty of times crying after an audition and thinking, “nobody likes me. I have no talent. What am I doing this for?” Then I would pick my self up and do it all over again. But I got stronger and I attribute my mental wellness to my spiritual practice. I’ve studied the teachings of Wayne Dyer, Jerry and Esther Hicks, and have been a long time meditator. My studies brought me to The International Academy of Self Knowledge where I recently became a Transformational Coach. I found that having a strong sense of self and clear desires were the key to keeping me on track and sane.

 

5. When you are not auditioning for roles, what do you do to stay creative?

I meditate everyday, I work with my Transformational students which really stretches my creativity, I belong to a community choir, I paint with my husband, walk the dogs, read (currently the Harry Potter series, I know… a little behind the times, but still good), and I just finished co-writing a screenplay… a romantic comedy… hopefully coming to the screens near you in the future. And then after all that, I enjoy hanging out on the couch catching up on my favorite shows… True Blood, Curb Your Enthusiasm (I love Larry David) and yes… I’ll admit it…I’m obsessed with Toddlers in Tiaras. It’s horrible, I know, but it’s like a train wreck… I can’t turn away.

 

In next week’s interview, Jessica talks about her transformational coaching business and offers MY readers a special discount!

 

Reinvention Series: Antartica & The Acting Bug Pt II

In the first half of this interview, Jessica Manuel (actor, transformational coach, and all around fabulous person) talked about her journey from the ice and snow of Antarctica to the stage lights of Los Angeles. In the second half of this interview, Jessica talks about her life as a Transformational Coach, her website, and offers up the readers of this here blog a special deal on her coaching services. Take advantage of this offer because who knows when Jessica will be famous and you can say you worked with her when. Enjoy!

1. What made you start Future Me! Now and how does it work?

I started Future Me…Now! because I had been reading a lot about manifestation. It’s based on the law of attraction. The idea that we get what we focus on and our thoughts become things. We can measure what we are focusing on by our results. For example, say you want to be prosperous, but you keep focusing on all your bills… what do you get? More bills. I also created it because we have so many opportunities to blog, tweet and post about what is. I wanted a place where people could post about what will be. A place to focus on the things we want to manifest. It’s a chance to be at cause in your life instead of effect. Plus, it’s fun!

2. You are living and working in L.A. as an actor and Transformational Coach – What is a Transformational Coach and why does it appeal to you?

As a Transformational Coach I ask the questions, “Who are you?” “What do you want?” and “What is standing in your way from getting the things you want.” That’s what I do in a nutshell. I had a production company and of the partners had taken the 28-day course with The International Academy of Self- Knowledge (ISAK) and recommended it. As I mentioned earlier, I am very interested in the law of attraction, how thoughts become things and meditation. At that point I felt that I had read every book on the subject and done every exercise, but I still felt stuck. It wasn’t until taking the course that I recognized that I had blocks in my subconscious that were inhibiting me from achieving my goals. The technology that Dr. Libby Adams, the founder of IASK, is cutting edge. I moved through these blocks and changed my life in ways I never thought possible. My life is filled with an inner peace that was never there before. It definitely was an “A-Ha” moment for me to become a coach. I thought, “If I can help people to unlock their true potential and live the life they always dreamed of? Sign me up”! I’m still acting and in the future I hope to combine the two skills by possibly having my own show. Guess I should go to Future Me…Now! and start posting.

3. What recommendations to do you have for people looking to transform their lives and truly work toward their dreams?

Here’s a couple of things:

• Meditate, meditate, meditate! I Can’t stress enough how good this is for you. Even if you just sit for 15min a day with your eyes shut and focus on your breath, this can have amazing effects. Here’s a good website that has free meditations that are great! Their books are wonderful too! http://www.orindaben.com/pages/rooms/orin_meditation_room/

• Focus on what you want… not what you don’t want. Start to create your reality. Become a deliberate creator of you life! If we focus on what is, we get more of what is. Expand your mind to look beyond what is to what you want to be. If this is a new concept here’s an excellent book. They have a helpful website to explore as well. http://www.abraham-hickslawofattraction.com/lawofattractionstore/product/LOA.html

• Email me! Truly this is the best thing I can offer. I feel like I’ve done everything from reading books, going to seminars to practicing Buddhism. This course is the one thing that has transformed my life at the core. I’d like to offer your readers a 50% discount on an Intro to Self-Discover session. This is a two hour individual coaching session. Normally priced at $250 I’ll offer for $125 if you mention this interview. The good news is that I work over the phone or Skype so it doesn’t matter where you live! Here’s some more information about the Self-Discovery session and what we’ll be doing: http://www.academyofselfknowledge.com/200.asp

• Here’s my email address: jessmanuel@gmail.com and a little bit more about me: http://www.academyofselfknowledge.com/j_manuel.asp
  

I look forward to working with you. Here’s to transforming your life and living your dreams!!

Nourishing Dreams: Finding your creative balance

As a freelance writer and creative person finding her way in the world, I have a hard time saying no. I like the excitement and passion behind launching new products, writing articles, and making new content. I also like to stay busy. So, it should have come as no surprise to me when I crashed and burned last Friday after a very busy and stressful week.

The week started out free and clear and slowly began to fill itself in. By Tuesday I had four 500-word articles to write, a poster to design, and various other items that needed attention. Plus, I had to eat and sleep at some point. I didn’t manage my time well and when I got to Friday I was a mess. This is not how I like to live so I turned to my tarot cards for a little clarity. The general message from the cards was that I needed balance between my creative work and down time. I needed to sit in the sun and enjoy. As a Virgo, it’s not easy for me to sit still but a friend wisely pointed out that when we sit in the sun we ARE being productive. We’re absorbing Vitamin D, we’re learning to breathe again, and we’re lowering our blood pressure.

So, in an effort to find my balance between creative work and relaxing, I came up with this list to help me stay sane:

1. Do nothing for 5 or 10 minutes - Take a few minutes each day when you’re stuck in traffic or walking to your car and just breathe. Don’t think about what you have to get done or what you’re not doing and enjoy the time by yourself. I have a short 15 minute walk to work in the morning so I make sure to walk by the river and watch the sun rise and just breathe. When I get work, I’m calm and ready to get going. I also do this at night when I walk home.

2. Honor your monkey brain – In the Buddhist tradition, the voice that chatters while you meditate is called the monkey brain. This is the voice that interrupts your quiet time and tells you what you’re doing wrong, about the chores you’re neglecting, what you’re planning for dinner. Instead of fighting the monkey brain during your quiet time, honor it, tell it you know you have things to get done and will do so once you have enjoyed the rain on the roof, the sunrise, or time petting your cat. I find this strategy is much easier than listening to the voice and beating myself up when I’m trying to relax.

3. Ask for Help – As a woman and someone who is very independent, asking for help is not easy. This weekend I was working on designing a poster and couldn’t get past a particular concept and wording for the poster. My husband clearly knew I was stuck and offered to help. My first response to was to say I didn’t need it but I let my ego go and allowed him to help me and we created something we and my client are very proud to display.

4. Eat, Exercise, repeat– When my blood sugar is low or I haven’t exercised in a few days, I feel like crap and when I feel like this I produce content fit only for my cat’s litter box. Stephen King encourages writers to exercise or take walks every day. It gets you away from the desk or studio for a few hours and clears out your head and helps you avoid making litter box-worthy product. Taking care of your body and mind is vital to creative health and can’t be neglected.

5. Prioritize and Say No- You know your schedule and you know what you are capable of getting done. Don’t add on new projects because you want to stay busy or don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Analyze your to do list and let go of projects you just can’t do or don’t want to do.

These are just a few tips I came up with to stay sane when my plate is full. How do you do it?What works and doesn’t work for you? Drop me a line and share how we can all be a little saner.

Leo Babauta aka Mr. Minimalist wrote this excellent article on how creative people stay balanced and focused. Read it and wish you had friends like his.

Fragments and Writer’s Block

I started this blog posts with the best intentions. My husband and I had a conversation over beer and tater tots this weekend about information. How we get it, how it’s changed, and how it has stayed the same. It was a thought-provoking conversation and I talked about how when I was growing up, back before iTunes (GASP!), in Fargo (double GASP!) we mostly got our music from the radio or one of the only non-chain music stores. I remember many of my cousins bought their music from the local convenience store. Of course there were music clubs that would give you 60 cassette tapes of your choice for only 10-cents provided you signed up for a six-month members. But most of those clubs had no selection, either.

My plan was to write about the changes in information gathering and present it for a thought-provoking discussion – and I still might. But when I sat down at the computer the words just wouldn’t flow. I was going to tie it all together by writing about the last two guests on A Closer Look Radio who presented new ideas on marketing and where social media is taking it. But I couldn’t. The words wouldn’t flow, I had no cohesion and I felt like I was running up a hill made of sand. I was a little embarrassed.

So today rolls around and Pam is working on her newsletter and e-mails to ask if I have anything to contribute. I sheepishly e-mailed back and said I had lots of ideas but no glue or tape to turn them into a colorful collage. Pam, being the wise woman she is, said I should write about writer’s block.

Insert light bulb moment here. Duh!

A quick Google search on overcoming writer’s block gave me many text-heavy websites with common sense tips. I do write on a daily basis and I do set deadlines. What I need is something a bit more creative. If I finish this glass of wine will I write better? What if I go for a run? Meditate? Read a book on nuclear physics?

Sitting down writing this blog post has helped me realize that my inner-critic wanted my information evolution (ooh! Good title!) post to be perfectly formed and thought-out on the first try. I didn’t give myself any room to write paragraphs of crap and just get my ideas on paper. My friend Jaymi constantly reminds me I have permission to write a crappy first draft. I just need to believe it.

 

So, here’s my question to you: What do you do when you get blocked creatively? Do you do something else? Give up for a while? What are your tried and true tips? The lines are open! Comment and check back frequently.

Since you’ve read this far, I wanted to give a special shout out to my friend Kim who has started a finishing school to help creative people push through and finish those projects gathering dust in their closets and hard drives. Check out her blog post here to learn more.

Best Laid Plans of Fragments and Shrapnel

One of the good things about the crappy economy is that it forces people to think what is really important. Many of my friends and colleagues have been contemplating making changes in their lives but saying they just don’t know what is out there and which direction to take. I’ve been feeling the same way and it was no coincidence when a quote from writer Anthony Greenbank was forwarded to me last week. He said, “To live through an impossible situation, you don’t need the reflexes of a Grand Prix driver, the muscles of a Hercules, or the mind of an Einstein. You simply need to know what to do.”

Really? I just have to know what to do? That’s all? I really want to work for Anthony Bourdain’s show No Reservations but I don’t think camping outside of his Upper West Side New York apartment is going to get me my dream job. If I’m lost in the woods in my shorts and t-shirt with no map, I can sit down and cry or I can keep walking and get even more lost.

Now, I’m not dissing Mr. Greenbank because he does write outdoor survival books but what I am dissing is the idea that there is some great map or book that will help us reach our dreams if we follow the plan. When I was a kid my parents never told me I couldn’t be an astronaut or a great mathematician. What they did tell me was to focus on what I was really good at set realistic goals and guidelines for myself. We all seem to think that if we have a dream and we work really hard we can get what we want. And we can, but we also have to be honest with ourselves. I have no math or science skills. I can understand and appreciate their applications but would fail miserably if I had do anything complicated beyond long addition and adding baking soda to my recipe. Instead, I focus on what I’m going at. I can write and I’m really creative. I have creative friends and resources so I use those to walk along this path and figure out what I want from life.

Self help authors will tell us if we follow their 10 step plan, we can lose weight, become super models, and make our business successful. Unfortunately, it takes more than just ten steps and a book to do this. I am of the opinion that we have to create our own path through the trees and try not to trip over the rocks and roots as we walk. If we do, we cry because it hurts and get up and move on. We ask for help when we get really lost and try to make wise decisions when we get to the fork in the road. Sometimes we have to scrap everything and start over; sometimes we can take those scraps and make something truly wonderful. I used to have a professor in college who told us we couldn’t make chicken salad out of chicken shit. But we can make some mighty fine compost for which to grow our own lettuce and carrots and make a fine salad in the end.

What about you, gentle reader? What sort of maps and tools do you use, to quote Prince, to get through this thing we call life? Do you believe in 5-year plans or do you just make plans until the end of the week? Hmm… 5-year plans.. I think that’s another blog post I’ll save for another time.

Fragments and Shrapnel: 5 Year Plan

We’ve all had that dreaded question at job interviews: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? We blink, take a deep breath, and give our canned answer: I do have goals, I do have ambitions and most of them have nothing to do with this job but I’m catering my answer so you’ll hire me.

With the exception of putting aside money for retirement, the idea of planning for anything 5 years in advance never appealed to me. When I was in high school, I liked to write and found working on the school newspaper to be very rewarding. I wanted to be a journalist. I went to college and learned about the craft and still wanted to be a journalist when I graduated. But when I actually started working in the industry, the four a.m. wake up calls, alcoholic bosses, and writing about boring committee meetings changed my mind. I was challenged each day to come up with good stories but the stress and low pay just wasn’t worth it. So I quit. I didn’t have much of a Plan B only that I just didn’t want to radio anymore.

I am of the mind that instead of a 5 year plan, we should have one-month and one-year plans. A one-year plan allows you to paint a big picture and the one month plan can turn the picture into bite-sized chunks. For example, let’s say I want to climb Mt. Everest by the time I’m 40. Great! Right now, however, I need to lose some weight and get in good enough shape so I don’t show up in Nepal unprepared. Get it?

The New York Times recently printed an article on what to do when our Plan B falls apart. It’s not enough to have a dream, but you have to be able to live the dream and make tough decisions when the dream doesn’t materialize the way you envisioned it.

Recently on A Closer Look Radio, Pam interviewed Michael Feuer, the co-founder of Office Max. Michael parted with great wisdom and business office but one thing he said really rang true with me: Smart business owners need stop focusing on the 5 year plan and instead develop a one-month and one year plan. He said having a 5 year plan isn’t bad, but you need to be able to switch gears as the economy and business dictates. You can listen to this fascinating interview here.

I took Michael’s advice this weekend and sat down and wrote out a list of things that need immediate attention in my own freelance business and articles that need to be written. Like any Virgo, I felt accomplished when I finished the list but was pleased to have a clearer picture.

As for how to answer the question of where you see yourself in 5 years, I prefer the answer given to my husband by his project management professors: A lot can happen in 5 years as markets and economies change. So, all I can really do is focus the now and what I can do to help your business grow and this is how.

Fragments and Websites

I was recently joking with my hair stylists about how, back in the olden days, we used to have to wait in long lines at the bank on a Friday so we’d have enough cash for the weekend. In another conversation with my husband, we were discussing our finances and why we keep getting the local newspaper and why we still have a land-line phone. The only good reason we had for keeping it was inertia. The conversation got me thinking about How Things Have Changed over the years especially when it comes to promoting one’s business and talents.

Gone are the days when starving writers and artists have to beg gallery owners and publishers to promote their work. Facebook and Twitter and even self-publishing websites are making it easier to get work out there quickly. Bank won’t loan you money to publish your new novel? Go to Kickstarter and raise the money yourself! Don’t know how to make a website? Don’t worry. WordPress and Tumblr can help you design your own site without having to learn long strings of HTML code.

Even though we may not need to stop at the bank on Fridays anymore or keep our land-line phones, any successful business person needs to have a web presence. Don’t have a website? Might as well just pack it up! If you are a plumber and my friend tells me you’re good, I’m going to check you out online first before I give you call. Don’t have a website? I might look elsewhere. While my parents or grandparents probably don’t care if your business has a website, my generation and the Millennials do. A local pizza chain in my neighborhood has great pizza but their website looks like it was slapped together by the owner’s nephew. My husband recently clicked on the website of a large home-improvement chain and found it to be clunky, hard to read, and unhelpful. You would think a multimillion dollar company could hire someone to put together a website that was a little more user friendly.

Recently, on A Closer Look Radio, Pam interviewed Eric Wolf, the author of Marketing Unmasked, and they talked about how important it is to have a good website. He gave good suggestions as to what every website should have and how to use it to supplement your business. He recommended every website should have a regularly updated blog, a section for company news, a good “About Us” page, and testimonials and case studies. Simple really. But some people don’t seem to get it. Check out the interview here to learn more.

A passionate DIY culture is growing in the United States which can be seen locally with the creative types in Portland and on a national level with the #Occupy protests. Traditional marketing and promotion just doesn’t work anymore when you can do it on the cheap with Facebook, Twitter and even LinkedIn. More and more people are finding unconventional ways to promote their work and I enjoy watching the traditional business models adjust to these changes.

Fragments and Shrapnel: It IS What You Think

Over the past couple of weeks my comfort zone has been tested while my commute got longer. Throw in a big project I’ve been slowly working on for my aunt Tricia and the world seemed like a really big place.

When uncomfortable changes arrive on my doorstep, my first response, like most people, is to have a knee-jerk reaction. I dwelled on the long commute, how tired I would be, and having to sit behind smelly people for too long. The book project seemed too big and I didn’t know where to start.

Often times a situation just IS and how we react turns it into a positive or negative experience. I have a creative network of friends who are always willing to help me out when I’m in a rut but some days I forget that and would rather beat my head against the wall.

Recently on A Closer Look Radio, Pam interviewed author and neuro-psychiatrist, Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz. He has a new book out on how to re-wire your brain and how to not let deceptive messages we tell ourselves every day (like I’m not good enough, I’m fat, etc. etc.) rule our lives. I have previously mentioned on this blog that I don’t believe in miracle pills or that one size fits all, but this was one of those interviews that made me pay attention and take lots of notes. Dr. Schwartz’s brain-rewiring message was broken down into four steps:

1. Re-label
2. Re-frame your thinking
3. Re-focus
4. Re-value

Instead of taking the easy route and going down the spiral of pity and loathing, I used Dr. Schwartz’s advice in my own situation.

• Yes, my commute is longer but I also don’t have to get up as early and I get to go to bed later.
• I take the train to work and do not sit in bump-to-bumper traffic which would take 10 years off my life.
• I get shit done.

With this new plan in place, I was ready to tackle the mountain that is my aunt’s book project. I talked about it with a friend and fellow writer and she brought a fresh outlook to the project. With her help and advice, I was able to parse the project down into manageable chunks. After our talk, I felt like the sun had made a brief appearance in the Pacific Northwest and the birds were singing. By just taking the step of asking for help, I turned a brewing disaster into a feeling of renewed confidence so I could get the project done.

In the interview, Dr. Schwartz also suggested giving yourself positive feedback and rewards for small changes. Like most overachievers, I have this notion that I need to climb a mountain on my first try or publish the great American novel from a first draft. I like the idea of rewarding myself for small changes AND giving myself permission to ask for help. It helps make the journey a little more palatable and easier to walk. What about you? How have YOU changed your thinking when life throws you a curve ball?